Silly randomness

This may end up being really stupid but I had some random thoughts today and they might make more sense if I get them out so here goes.

It is possible that I am not progressing with BFL right now because I am somewhat content with how I am right now??? It is likely that at some point in the near future I will no longer be content and feel the need to get into smaller pants,but for now I MIGHT be happy. I really don't know. Mabye I need a little trip to the Gap dressing room to grasp some idea of how I am really looking. I percieve that my perception is a little warped right at this time. I am still happy I lost what I did, I need time to become unhappy with how I look. I still have that new-figure smell. hehehe

(inspired by supergirls post) I have always found something so interesting about kissing. I've been kissing the same man for 11.5 years straight now, and it is so wierd that soemtimes its like, hmm, yeah, fine but then other times its off the charts. WHY is that?? Does it just have to do with timing? Timing of what?? What is the common denominator of either experience?? I can't find the factor! its just hit and miss. Times when I want some fireworks, its hum ho then once in a while its an experience like Bevs that flips your world upside down, but only when you least expect it. Mabye that must be it. You just can't want it. Life is wierd sometimes.

Its just me and my boys till Sat nite. I dropped Sadie of at MIL's tonite to go on their little trip, and Marks with his scouts on a campout. I don't know if its a change in dynamic or what but they are feeling so good. They want to have a "late night" and watch a movie at home with popcorn. They are just all cheery and excited to have mommy to themselves, just the boys. I may see how tomorrow goes and set up the tent and watch a movie in the backyard. The only problem with that is how to convince them to ever take the tent down. Theyd want to move in permanently. I should do it though- The weather is perfect for sleeping out and we have really nice grass back there. OK I will do it. Hehe it will be fun.

This is my brain fruit for today. Its a little withered but it was good to harvest (for me, anyway) Alright I must really be tired.