TGIF????? Um, no.

I want to go back to be so bad right now....big kids are at school, Marks at work, little kids still asleep. But I did that yesterday and it really cut into my day so, no can do today. but I am enjoying the quiet right at this moment.

My procrastination problem got me in for a streesful day today. Its Coopers b-day sunday (6!) and we don't do anything beyond family parties on sunday, because its the Sabbath. So we told him we'd do a saturday party with his friends someplace fun (we alternate years between home party and going someplace) but Coopers mommy procrastinated and didn't plan it or get out invitations yet. So then we realized that Saturday is Conference all day (churchwide broadcast) so we can't do it during that time (no friends could come then anyway) and Mark has to work till 1 (and its gooood $$) and Mark forgot and planned to go out with friends at 5, so Saturday is shot. So the party is TONIGHT. I now have to call 4 friends and get them last minute invites over the phone (LAME), call Jeeper Jungle Gym and get it set up (Called last night, they have openings for b-day parties) buy presents, and figure out the times and all, snce Sadie also has dance tonight, and she CAN'T miss. Oh yeah, and work out and everything else I was supposed to do today. Oh well, it will all come together and at least the Jeepers folks will do the party for me. I just have to sit there and try no to eat pizza and cake. :P

So far my challenge is going pretty good. I've been hungry though. I need to get some Myoplex. It was wierd starting on a wednsday, but I'm glad I started. I had a mini-chill :P at scouts last night, damn popcorn. And 5 mini reese cups. Oh well, moving on. I'm doing extra cardio today so oh well. I can't promise I won't have cake later, either.
I need to get a couple things from the grocery store to get me through this. I'm out of cottage cheese and I'm getting some chicken in the crockpot this morning, that will help. My usual lack of planning is not helping. I'm sticking to the diet 95% but I feel unorganized about it. I will get organized today. I am craving a to do list right about now. :D

BTW I did HIIT yesterday for the first time in a looong while and it was scary, and I sucked, but I did it.

Lots going on!!!

Well I have lots of BFL stuff going on right now. Here goes (I may be on to something here...)

First of all, D1 of this challenge is rockin'. I accidentally OD'd on caffeine, so I've been very productive today LOL. I took my regular dosage of fatburner, after being off of it for over a month, then a dose of Midol (I felt some TOM symptoms coming on)WOOOO HOOO I've been flyin' all day!!

Secondly...I GOT THE CALL!!! I was asked to head up a fitness/nutrition group for the women at church. I was so excited when they called a couple weeks ago. Then Sunday I got the list of who signed up. Fear stabbed me in the heart when I saw over 20 women listed!!!! And that didn't include a few that I'd already talked to about it!!! AHHHHHH! PRESSURE!!!!! And these ladies range from 50+ pounds overweight to "why did she sign up??, she's already fit!" So I am scared now. If half of them actually come, that will be a LOT. Where do I even start?? I think I will be doing a support/informational group at my house twice a week, once in the dayitme, once in the evening. I gotta get my thoughts organized on that and hopefully start next week. We may have to divide into 2 groups, for different needs. I'm preaching BFL, its a practical, well-rounded program, but we're gonna start with the basics (i.e. bread choices, calories in/calories out, planning, and goals) Its like looking up at a mountain and I'm supposed to convince a bunch of people to climb it. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I'm just glad that so many people are interested.

Thirdly.....One of my best friends, Casey, is starting BFL for real. She called yesterday and said she is going for a challenge. She even signed up for an official challenge on the website. Her hubby took pics and she's weighing and measureing tonight. Today she came over and I gave her the printouts of the blank workout guides and blank weekly meal sheet and helped her get started filling it out. She's been surfing around the BFL site and went and bought the book today. I'm so excited for her! She is gonna have great results. She's one of those small frame types that has always been thin, but very little muscle, so after 4 babies she's finally struggling. Shes still not big or overweight, but just has struggled for her stomach to go back this time. I can't wait to see how she does. WOO! Fun!!

Fourthly....I got a PM form Mariah Yu today, it was so cool!! She saw Dana on my profile and said see ya on the cruise. I know, no biggie to some but I'm not really one of those that rub elbows with the bigwigs. I just live vicariously thru Dana. For instance I wasn't gonna say in case it dosen't happen but I think Ken Young is coming to AZ for a bikeracing training thingy and I'm hoping Dana will put something together for a few of us AZ folks to meet him, go to dinner or something. It would be nice to know some people going on the cruise before I get there so I'm not like some lame-o that nobody knows. I get shy in those situations sometimes. Anyway, that is very exciting.


Fifthly.....I noticed when I was driving home from the gym today that where my thigh rests on the seat I had less dimpling, even when I kind of turned my leg in, and put pressure on it, even up to the saddlebag area. This is huge news. Little victories, people, little victories!!!

This is what I'm on to. I'm really putting myself out there by helping my friend, doing the church group, going on the cruise. Its becoming my lifestyle and people who know me are starting to see me as a fitness person. I figure its a lot harder to fall off the wagon if I'm too busy pulling people up onto it. Its possible, but a lot less likely. That is the trick to keep yourself going, support others and don't try to hide it from people. Isn't that what all the champs do?? And the ones you never hear from after they win are the ones that fall off. None of the past champs get anything from BFL past their prizes, but I look at people like Steve and Mariah Yu, Tracey Jeffries, Ken Young, Julie Whitt, they are BUSY checking in on people. Plus leading lives. Thats how I think you keep going forever. I'm gonna try that.

lalalaalala

Had a good day. Well, not a good BFL day, but a good day-before-BFL day. I even vegged out on the couch for like 45 minutes this afternoon before the kids got home from school. WOOT! LOL I watched a rerun of the Miss America pageant, it was the swimsuit part. Hello, could their legs BE any longer???I felt like a troll compared to those girls. The only sucky part was that there was NO food in the house so I had nothing to snack on but butter sandwiches and generic cola. Strangely satisfying. I did make it to Sams tonight and stocked the kitchen GOOD for the week. All the stuff I need, except cottage cheese, which I must go to Fry's to get since only like the Kroger brand. I also need asparagus, but I'll live a couple days till I can get it. I grocery shopped for 2 hours with the kids tonight, I am totally wiped out!!! I thoroughly enjoyed my last meal before the challenge commences tomorrow, it was my delicious homemde chili, with shredded cheese and sour cream, along with delicious semi-homemade cornbread (well-buttered) and to finish in style, an almond snickers bar. YUMMY!!! I'm WAY dehydrated right now. yikes.

I'm getting all nervous for tomorrow, I guess I'm a wierdo! I'm all anticipating my EFL french toast, egg salad, BLT wraps, breakfast burritos, wow sounds like a vacation!! LOL I'm mostly looking forward to the gym! I need to turn off the computer and TV and focus and figure out what the heck Im gonna do. The focus is fat burning. Cardio every day. That much I know. I really want to look ripped, I think I need another month of muscle building. So there will be more when I tear off the pudge. Ahhh, I hope I do the right thing. I'm considering consulting my moms trainer. I've seen pics of the girls he's trained for competition and they look AWESOME. I'll kick that idea around.

Lovely

Its a drizzly, overcast, cool day today, its just lovely!!!Got the kids to school, now today I'm just gonna get the house a clean and veg and enjoy it. I've got today and mabye tomorrow like this and then its gonna start getting hot so I'm going to enjoy it while I can. Spring is lasting this year, YAY!!

Tomorrow I will officially start my cruise challenge. I'm really excited to get back in the gym and sweating. I've had a nice break, but I'm ready to get back to it. I want to do somme running again and some HIIT, but the liss cardio I was doing was working so well, so I'm going to have to combine them somehow. I gotta figure all this out tonight. And figure out what the goals are. Well, I mean, I know already but I like to get it down to specifics.

I checked out a new gym, its opening next week across the street. I'm not sure. Its nice and new, but its an express, which is not so great for the kids. It has a chile area, but its tiny, and so far theres nothing in there. The thin is, though is there is another location opening 2 miles away that will be the "deluxe" versoin, with the pool and classes and all, and I will have full access to that one as well. It won't be open for a couple months. I don't really do all that other stuff, but I like to have the option. The other thing is that I like the tnning at my gym, I can do it right after I work out, while my kids are still in the childcare. This new gym says its giving a discount to the tanning place next door, but will the discount end up being as cheap as what I'm paying now, and can the kids stay in the gym childcare while I tan?? I'm guessing no. My gym is only 3 miles away, so I'm not sure its worth it. Marks gonna join the new one, though. Its only like 25 a month right now. I pay 44 with my upgrade (that incl. tanning and 2 hours of childcare) and I'm not sure the new place can beat that. I guess I should let them try. Mabye a new gym will help me stay excited and interested, but mabye it will throw me off. Questions, questions..........

Ow Ow Ow

Ok, UNCLE!!! I give up!! I was trying to eat whatever I wanted, I felt it was necessary to get my mind ready, plus I'm poor right at this moment till tomorrow and my cupboards and fridge are frightenigly barren of anything, let alone healthy stuff. So I figured what the hell. Well after a homemade cranberry crumble, (3 cups worth) a couple pieces of bread with country crock and an entire bag of chips (yeah, the big bag you break out for a party) I'm SICK!! I feel like somebody has a steak knife in my intestines. I think its gas, but I can barely WALK. You don't know how bad I wished I ate a egg white/oatmeal pancake instead. I can't go on like this. Tomorrow the kids go back to school (hallelujah!!!!) and I have my meals all planned with an enormous grocery list. I'm gonna do EFL and myoplex for a couple weeks. I may just maintain, but that will be OK. Mabye I'll lose, I guess we'll see. I gotta say, planning EFL meals feel like I"m CHEATING after doing the strict thing I've been doing. I really feel I will see great results in a few weeks after I start the strict mealplan again after taking this sort of a "break". I can't wait to get started, I feel like crap, and I want to feel good again!!! Its like I'm allergic to bad food now. I've technically been "off" for a week and a half, usually by now I'm back to garbage disposal mode, but not this time. It just makes me ill now. This is very GOOD news!!! I have other fun stuff going on, but I gotta go make dinner and be mommy for a few more hours. School TOMORROW!!! YEE HAW!!!

Side and back comparison

Week 9 on the left, week 12 on the right.















This is just the last 3 weeks!!!!!!

Heres some comparison pictures

This is week 9 and week 12 together:






I can't see my abs as well (combo of bad eating for a week and bad lighting) But I CAN see some leg muscles!!! They are finally showing. Boy, Ireally might have something under there. It makes me want to uncover it!!!

Its over....and I did it!!!!!!

I can finally put this challenge to R.I.P. Its been, well, challenging. These last 2 weeks have drug on, just like in HIIT, when the last 2 minutes seem to come to a standstil, and even seem to move backwards! Thats how this last bit has felt. I am SO glad I stuck it out, even though the last week really was a wash. I finished, and overall had a great challenge. I even met many of my goals. That is success!!!!


Heres the big news

I did get out on my own last night to go see Walk the Line, but the projector was broken so I decided to see Failure to Launch later. With a couple hours to kill I found myself at Target in the clothing section. It was a big gamble. Good chance I'd run home in tears. I found a pair of jeans in a cut that looked flattering. Nice dark ones. 8's were huge. I put on the 6's. also a little roomy. Hmm, do I dare?? I slipped on the 4's. THEY FIT!!!!!! AND looked good!!!! NO muffin top, either!!!!! Oh, yes I will be postin pics. Now, 1 pair of jeans does not a body size make, its so subjective. So I went out and collected about 8 other styles and sizes for comparison. Looks like I'm a solid, comfy 6/8 in misses and a 9 in Jrs. But I bought the 4's. It was the best reward a girl could have to finish up a challenge. The BEST!!! It was pretty emotional. I came home for a bit, then went to the movie. It was cute.








Look ma, no muffin-top!!!! :D


I improved!!!!! Even from week 9, I seriously can't freaking believe it!!!!Really, I'm choked up, now, I just can't believe it!!! Its been so tough! I can't believe I made it!! AHHHHHHH! Crying now......oh, man, thanks you guys for being there and believing in me!! I'm so happy right now!!! I just motivated myself to keep going.

Time for a regroup and rest this weekend (since I pretty much had a relaxed eating week, I'm ready to go on that already! :P) And monday will start the CRUISE challenge. YAY!!!!!!

RANT

So I'm siting here, all stinky from the gym, wasting time on the 'puter. Wyatt walks in and notices my 3 inch roll of flab hanging over my workout pants(complete with stretch marks....hey, I was slouching, OK???) And says "mommy, you look fat there" and proceeds to pat the funny, squishy blob. So he pulls the waist of my pants up over the flab and pats it gently and says"there, that better".

I need a rant here for a sec. I have done worse this week than all the other weeks of this challenge. I don't know if giant scale losses freaked me out or what, but I don't really care why, fact is I really blew it this last week. I cant get that time back, so I must move on. OK fine. I have all the time I need to get this "body" that I want. I've done a good challenge. A couple things have bothered me, and mabye if I post it and get it out of my head I can let it go.

#1: This stupid trainer at my gym, we'll call him Rudy. When I first saw him I was like "ooh, heee-lo, HOTTIE" SO I have my first consultation with him (the usual gym fitness "evaluation" where they sell you the training). This was a year ago, before I started my first challenge. I was tipping the scale at almost 160. 38% BF. I've worked out lots in the past, lifting and all, I was ready to get serious. I was tosing around BFL, I knew what it entailed, I was getting pumped to do something serious. So Rudy gives me some lame line like "could I commit you to working out 3 days per week??" Suggests cutting out soda and doing lots of walking. I'm sure he just assumed I'm the typical SAHM who needed to just start, thats fine. But it put me defensive, like "I'll show you what I think of your 3 stupid days a week of WALKING" The next week I tell him, I'm gonna give the BFL thingy a go, and go from there. I get the usual "Oh, OK, suuuuure" kind of response along with " I think a program like that may cause you to put on muscle too fast" WTH??? whatever. SO this trainer has seen my 1st challenge results, acted pretty unimpressed. Thats fine. He's seen me at the gym EVERY DAY and says nothing. I'm like half my size. I've asked him 2 questions over the years time. One was the weight of particular bar that was unmarked. 15 pounds, ok. I asked him how accurate the calorie counter was on the treadmill. He said "I dont know, I don't do cardio" and rushed off. All of this was fine. I'm not a paying training customer. But its annoying. The final straw 3 weeks ago was when he said he could hear my earphones from his desk. (some songs are louder than others on my player, I was in the middle of a set of crunches and didn't bother to turn it down) So we have a small exchange in which he says "just make sure you arent' getting too obsessed with the fitness thing." That really kinda made me mad. I just couldn't believe it. This guy is in good shape, but he's like 25. His GF is this teeny tiny fine-boned thing, about 105 and gorgeous. I wish I would have said, "well, some of us have to work really hard at getting in shape, it dosn't happen for everybody to work out 3 days a week" It just really pissed me off. I mean, really. So now every time I see this guy(every day)I get ticked off. It makes me want to work even harder in some respects, but then I'm like, who cares, he's jerk who thinks he's the big burrito, so what. Also, he was giving me so much crap abour getting my bodyfat tested (too often, in his opinion, which BTW its a gym upgrade I paid for) I got my own Omron, so I wouldn't have to deal with him on that. I would think that any gym employee whould want to encourage EVERY one to be fit and this guy is actually DIScouraging to me. Its all in my head, I'm sure. I'm sorry, but I've made huge progress in a year, so that is going to have to be my satisfaction. I DID show him. He just dosn't know I did. PUNK. I really don't need validation from anyone, but come on, don't discourage me. please.

#2: I have had a few separate conversations about fitness and losing weight with my mom, sisters, friends, ladies from church. It never fails, they ask what size I am trying to get to or how much I want to lose and when I say 10 more pounds or especially if I say "size 4/6" I get the same response, which is always "can you even get that small??" Like I have these gigantic birthing hips and this super-sized butt that coudn't even hope to shrink that much. So I ALWAYS have to say "yes, I have been that small before, and it WAS after I had a baby, it can be done" I'm sure these people arent trying to be rude, and if had happened one, twice, ok. But EVERY time??? Man, that is so discouraging. How huge is my butt?? Do I not realize how big I actually am??? I always have to point out that I am 5'4, and my frame is on the small size of medium. I am actually a little person, I just carry a lot of fat in my butt and upper thighs. Ok, I really am crying now. I know all of you blends understand where I am coming from. I wish I could surround myself with people like you, but I can't. People just don't realize what it takes. I'm gonna do it. I'm going to prove every one of these people wrong. yes, its VERY hard to watch other women/moms who are in truly good shape and they CAN do the 3 days a week and eat "pretty good" thing and look fabulous. I am not one of them. I've just got to find a way to pull myself together for the rest of today and tomorow, then I can make some new plans, and new goals. I hope I have some improvement in my pictures, but if I don't its OK, I'm only racing against myself, and so far I am winning that one.

If you are still reading.......sorry! LOL I mostly posted all of this disaster so I could just get it out and start fresh. I've released all of the toxic thoughts and now its time to move on to better things. Moving along...........

Blah.......

My kids are driving me insane. I let Sadie have a friend over and the mom just assumed I'd have the little brother too. Lucky for me they were ok kids but it was just a lot.

Please, please let this week be over soon!!!!I neeed comfort food. I need a break!! I can't listen to the noise, screeching, squealing, tattling, questions....oooh the questions!!! Day after day!!! Mark helps when hes here but its not too often. I want to put them to bed but its such a hassle in itself I am putting it off.

If I could do ANYTHING tomorrow I would go to this store that has GREAT seasonal decor stuff (seriously, its awesome, awesome) and get some cute easter stuff for the house, go to the mall and try on clothes, mabye buy some, get a facial and massage, meet Mark for lunch somewhere good. But guess what....I will most likely go to the gym, take the kids to the zoo, then hit the grocery store. Or else.....go to the gym, then to the phoenix court to get an appointment for this dumb thing I have to do, then to the grocery store. :(((((((

I want a body like Jenna Elfmans.....but thats about as likely as my day at the mall :(

Recommitting.....AGAIN

Just a confession before I get my day going full blast. And its gonna be another loud one. I HATE spring break!!! LOL


I'm reading all the blogs, It sucks that so many are struggling. I have to put myself in that category as well. Saturday was free day, which I took in moderation, but we were making S'mores over a campfire for cryin out loud!! LOL Sunday tanked because I was in a pissy mood, Id been with the kids every second of every day for over a week and I was beyond irritated with them, so I ate cake. Yes, it was definetly the cakes fault. I even purposely bought a walmart cake so it wouldn't even be good, but that plan didn't work. Follow that with sherbert ice cream and spegetti and meatballs and robin eggs(which I also don't really like). Monday morning, I was not mentally focused (again, fault of the cake) and ate the rest of the robin eggs for breakfast. Felt guilty about that, took a phentermine, and then ate nothing but raw peanuts until 8 pm, where I proceeded to literally WOLF DOWN in less that 5 minutes an entire 2 entree meal of chinese,with rice and nooodles, and then polished off the sherbert.

Oh, man it feels good to get that off my chest. I already knew that there is no magical pill or thing that makes you do it. But this weekend was a sharp reminder. You just have to have the mindset. I feel just like all of you, Why why when I do soooo well, I'm trying to trip myself at the finish line???? Well, I refuse to give in to myself. I WILL NOT tank this week. End of story. I'm going to eat all my meals, and get to the gym (at least I did that yesterday) and drink my water, party's over. I can do it for 4 more days. I've done it for 80, (well, 77 if you don't count this weekend). Thats it. I'm back on. I'm going in the kitchen right now, I'm gong to make my breakfast, cook my chicken and clean the kitchen. I have tons to do today, and it will get done.

The Good, and its Consequences

I don't want anyone to freak out on me. I want to give you all a pill update. ITS WORKING!!!!!! I still have my cheats here and there, its not perfect. I still have to be focused and plan, and my meals are pretty small and boring. To be honest, I am only getting 4-5 meals in. My calories are really low. But I do spread them out over the day, and I am so freaking thirsty on this stuff I can put down a gallon of water by 1 in the afternoon. I make sure to eat a higher calorie meal every couple days (like salmon or steak with a potato) to keep me from going into starvation mode. That seems to be working. My workouts are great. I've been spending an hour and a half in the gym 4 days a week with a 5th and 6th day of cardio only. Same as what I've posted. I'm doing it. It dosn't keep me up at night, but I need less sleep. I had to drive home fom my parents yesterday evening and I was crashing because I had such a busy weekend (we drove to the snow with the kids..'nuff said) so I took a gamble and took one at 6 pm. I had a 3 hours drive at night then a shopping trip when I got home and a looong reunion night with Mark planned) I got to bed about 1:30 am, and was up and chipper at 8 am. I feel really good this morning. I'm totally loving this stuff. I'm feling great, not high, not hungry, its so FAB!!

Heres the other thing. I am dropping the WEIGHT. I was down to 130 on saturday am.(on my moms scale, which is a pound or 2 lighter than mine, I think)But still, 130!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I had to count the little dashes by hand to make sure it was right. I started at zero and counted every little dash by 5's. I have to say, though, I FEEL 130. SO this is the pattern of how it has played out so far. The first week on the meds I lost 5 pounds. the next week I lost a half inch off of crucial body parts. Now this week again with a 6 pound scale loss. Bodyfat is now down to 22.9 as of this morning. I think my metabolism is on fire!! I didn't measure at my parents, I forgot my tape measure. I'll just do it next week at the end of the challenge, which is in a WEEK!!!!!

There are a couple of downsides to this. Since I'm losing so fast *ducks a punch from Tracey* I'm getting a little skin saggage going on. Mainly in my boobs (about down to a pitiful A cup:( and my lower stomach. really kind of a general feeling of loose skin all over. Where I used to grab hold of fat around my waist, now there is like less fat and more skin or something. I know it will eventually tighten up. Mark hadn't seen me all week and was like "where did your ass go??? Your getting so little!!!" you can imagine the rewards that came his way for those kind of comments! LOL Right now I feel to myself like a skeleton with a little flab and a big butt. LOL My upper body is looking a little scrawny to me, and my boobs are kind of just hanging there, lifelessly. LOL The main idea now I guess is to get the fat off, and then build back up the muscle where I want it later. Bottom line, I'm knocking on size 6's door. I hope she answers soon :) As soon as she lets me in, I'm gonna push her down to the ground and bust in on size 4.

side note: Cade on the way home last night says to me: "Mom, why does you face go in so much right there? (referring to under my cheekbone) Is is because you lost weight or because your getting old??" I did n't know whether to hug him or punch him LOL I just said, "ummm, I think its both."

Apprehension Day

I have officially dubbed Thursdays as "Apprehension Day". My weigh ins and measurements are done on Saturday, first thing, before my freeday commences. Thursday I am usually too curious to stay away from the scale, so I get on. And i"m usually same as I was the week before, or a pound higher. So this is what goes thru my head:

"Oh no!! Well, dummy its not saturday yet, things can change dramatically! and hello, you had a steak and sweet potato last night that is still in your system. I know but I'm burning like 3000 cals a day, and eating barely enough, by now I should see a drop. No, stupid, you have to give it a full week. You shouldn't even be on this scale right now. Are you addicted??? No, but I better step it up today and tomorrow. I'm nervous, I may not lose this week. My pants aren't that much looser really this week like last time.OK, thats it!!! No scale for you!!!!!!!"

This is a glimpse into my brain, I know, sorry, I won't share anymore. But I KNOW you all do it!!! LOL I have done this every single WEEK!! WHY must I torture myself so??

I got Cades arm cast, apparently the lady I talked to at the reffered doctor the first time was incorrect and it was fine to go there. SHEESH! A whole day of stomache ache for that!! I go thte insureance thing as figured out as I can till teh 20th. Anyway,he got it on this morning and its so cool! Its CAMO print. He loves it. Well, as much as you can love a cast, I guess.

So I am going to go see the fam this weekend, My parents are into the BFL thingy so eating will not be a problem, unless I make it one. They are stocked with the good stuff. AND my mom goes to this trainer who has trained fitness competitors, and I would be very interested in talking to this person that I have heard so much about. SO far what he has told her is in line with what I have learned, so thats good. So I won't miss any working out either. I'm gonna get my house all sparkly and head out in the morning. After I mow the grass and all that too. I only have about 5 loads of laundry left :( Gotta get to work. Damn, Mark is lucky I do all his chores for him!!! LOL Its a lot of work but sooo nice to come home to!

P.S. The little pill I take has an amphetamine in it...so its even BETTER than caffeine!! MUAAAHAAAHAHAHAA!!

Its HUMP DAY!!!

Too bad Marks out of town!! ROFL KIDDING!!! So far so good this week, I've been kicking ass in the gym, and diets been really clean, but I am strugglng to make myself eat enough. I think I've only hit 5 meals the last couple days, not enough!! Today I will really really make myself eat everything on the schedule. And I am gonna eat a good dinner. I've been on turbo-drive the last couple days ( my usual cleaning frenzy that strikes every couple weeks) and yesterday I managed to wash my car inside and out, clean out the garage, clean up the backyard, and my entire house including bathrooms, besides going to the gym for an hour and a half and spending an hour down at the *hangs head* DES office to get our "insurance" sorted out to pay for Cades arm. I'm REALLY stressed about all of that whole mess. He can't get it cast until we get it figured out, and that needs to be today or tomorrow. I'm hoping I don't end up coming unglued with some sort of rage with an uncooperative government worker. Its brewing, because these people are pissing me off to no end. But I guess you get what you pay for, right? Serenity now...serenity now....It never fails, Mark has to leave town just at the times when really stressful things are gong on. So I deal by myself. I was stupid for thinking it would be different this time. Neither of us have a choice. It sucks bad. I hate dealing with this stuff alone.Oh well I get lots of work done when he's gone anyway. Blah blah poor me, right? If I can get his arm taken care of, I'm gonna escape to Thatcher to visit my parents and hang out with my siblings.

BTW BF% yesterday was 23.5%. An all time low!! YAY!!!

Week 11 game plan

Its week 11 peeps. Time to get serious. The harsh reality of last week is that I missed friday and saturdays workouts, but not because I wanted to. I basically took friday,saturday and sunday off of eating too. Didn't eat enough and what I did was junk. I realized this morning that the reason I started BFL on April 4 last year was because it was AFTER birthday season. I just really love cake. I just wanted to enjoy it last year, and figured I'd give myself some slack and not even bother starting till it was over. Well, guess what, here it is again. I have to figure what I am gonna do to get thru it. For now I am planning to just power thru next weekend and not even take a freeday. If I never even take a bite I cant' over-indulge, right?? If I do have a small piece,its a good chance I'll have 3 more. 2 weeks of no cheats??? I think I can do it. Thats for this coming weekend, Daytons b-day. Then Coopers on April 2, well its far enough away I can deal with it later. So for this next 2 weeks, hardcore diet, then EFL saturday and sunday, then hardcore diet next week, then its the end. But its not really the end, which brings me to............

I have mapped out the "challenge" plan from now till the cruise. Its actually working out pretty well, I don't want to take a week off, because if its anything like last time, I'll be completely off and who knows if I'll be able to get he mental game back. And we all know if we don't have the mental game intact, its out the window. SOOOOOO the good news for me is that my challenge will be ending march 25. BUT April 4 is my 1 year anniversary of BFL. I want to have some killer pics for that. Taking the week between there off would not help me do that. So I really will have a 13 and a half week challenge. April 4 is on a Tuesday, so I may do EFL for the rest of that week. Then I have almost exactly 10 weeks till the cruise. I will then re-evaluate what I need to fix, add muscle to, cut down more(like I don't know THAT one) and plan accordingly. I really want to show up to that cruise ship and have people wonder if I won something at some point. I want to blend in with the CHAMPS!!! The whole idea of all of this is very exciting!! I am really not winding this down. I don't feel burned out as of yet. I actually feel energized over the whole thing.(2 days of cake will do that to me, I guess)lol This is the big picture which is great, but now I gotta break it down and focus..........

THIS WEEK:
M-LBWO/45 min cardio (incline tready)
T-UBWO/45 min cardio (elliptical)
W-45 min cardio(incline tready)
TH-LBWO/45 min cardio(elliptical)
F-UBWO/45 min cardio(incline tready
S-5 mile run

I have to make up for last week, and I am taking up a little notch. Eating, will be Teresas diet, to a T, with a bigger EFL meal on wednsday afternoon, to make sure my metabolsim is in full swing. It will be a medium sized lean steak and a baked potato, with a huge salad.

TODAY: Workout in about an hour and a half, meal one is in the bag, water has started, and after my workout I'm headed to Sams club to get the food I need. I'm very focused. No room for screw ups, this is it.

AND.......

I freaking SHRUNK this week! I felt it on friday, but I didn't dare measure till today. A HALF INCH off my BUTT!!!! A HALF INCH OFF MY THIGH!!!! My waist is the same, thats fine. I'm down only a pound, but hello hows that for results!! I'm VERY thrilled with how this week went overall. No time for pictures. May as well wait till the end now. 2 weeks left I can't believe it!

I'm tired, and I think this post is a little nonsensical....

Its been a looooooooooong day! I feel terrible, this is the first day I have ever missed a workout in almost 10 weeks!!!! I hate it! There was just no way. I started at 6:30 this morning, its almost 7 pm and no sign of the end yet. I have been doing hair allllllday long. The boys were spazzoids all day, running, screaming, wrestling, fighting... I made some nice coin, but I am beat. I thought I was done, but then my friend (whos hilights I did this morning)called and her friends mom wants a hilight before she leaves back home to utah. I just couldn't say no for some reason. Mabye another 50 bucks is why??? LOL 50 bucks for an hour and a half of my time is just barely worth it. Then after I finish I have to go shopping for 2 b-day parties of the kids friends, some groceries and WYATTs b-day tomorrow. Tomorrow I have a talent show in the am (in which I m singing with Sadie) and then shuttling to the parties and getting ready for Wyatts party at 4. At least we're going to have it at Peter Piper Pizza, so I don't have to cook. And the cake will be purchased, oh yeah. Mark is taking the kids out for me tonight so I can have run of the kitchen for my appt. oh man do I want to dive into a pizza and go to bed!

The worst part of it all is that I got our GScookie delivery today, and I only ate about 10 total, but not much else. HELLOOOOO I'm supposed to weigh and measure tomorrow!!!!!I had breakfast, then some cottage cheese, and cookies. A half a gallon of water. This is NOT GOOD!!! DAMN DAMN DAMN!!! And no workout. VERY sucky. I'll do better tomorrow. On the bright side, I feel thinner today, even with all that, and Ihad to change my jeans mid afternoon, because they were so big on me that they loked ridiculous, and were uncomfortably saggy. So my actions today were how I reward myself?? Stupidhead!!!!

EDIT: It was such a long day I wrote all of this and didn't even post it! Soon after this while in the middle of a haircut, Mark calls (H'ed taken the kids to Chik-fil-A for dinner) and Cade has broken his arm in the playland. MAJOR break. Its a miracle it wasn't a compound fracture. It was the sickest thing I'd ever seen. It was a DEEP angle. It makes me shudder! A soon as I can I have to get the pic off Marks camera. Like my day couldn't get crazier. So I quickly finish my appt., get to the hospital, MIL had come to get the kids from Mark already and we were there till midnight. Which was really short, I thought. But it was so bad they rushed us back ahead of the 200 poor hypochondriacs in the waiting room :P They LUCKILY were able to set it good, no surgery needed(another miracle, cuz it was BAD)Really, it was like 4 hours total. I think thats fast!! But then I had to find an all night Pharmacy for his pain meds, and while I waited for the prescript. I went to 24 hour Walmart(YIKES that place is disgusting) and got some of the stuff I needed for today. So now I'm exhausted. WHy does my life have to be so nuckin' FUTS all the time??? LOL Well, my Caders was a trooper, he barely even cried the whole time. He is SO tough. I wold have seen my arn like that and had a panic attack or at least been hysterical. Hes our champ, now.

And while we're thinking of past hairdos...

This will totally blow your mind, I wore my hair like this from about '97 to '99, and then again from '01 to '03 until I grew it out this last time. Boy I really have done the extremes, huh?? I saw the new cover of Vogue at the store and the pic of Natalie Portman with the pixy cut reminded me. I did really like it like that, it was flattering. It just gets boring. I have a small head, (yeah, a pinhead) and a small face so it fits me pretty well. I vowed I wouldn't go short again until my body was little to match! Right now Im liking the long hair though, I feel much sexier and girlie, so its not going anywhere soon.










Again, its a picture of a picture, so not the best but you can kind of see. I liked to put pomade in it and spike up the crown, it was so fun!

Heres my wedding pics 9/23/94

Well its bad quality because its a picture of a picture..but you can kinda see my Josie Bisset Melrose hairdo, and I really DID love my flowers, roses and gardenias. Boy they smelled awesome! I don't have any fun crazy pics, I guess we didn't take any. My dress was handmade by my grandma,(who happens to be a professional wedding dress maker) it's outdated now, but at the time my photographer said it was the most gorgeous dress she had ever photographed. I still fit into it today! :) It was a big 'ol cinderella gown with a train that bustled, the whole skirt was done in chiffon, the whole top was done in this ornately beaded thick lace. I'd definetly make changes to it now, but it is what it is. I hope someday Sadie will want to alter it and wear it, thats how awesome it is.

We got married in the LDS temple in AZ, and had the reception in my parents backyard. Great weather on september evenings here. It was really great. My parents spent a buttload of $$$ on the house and yard, including repainting the whole works, moving a LARGE tree, constructing a octagonal raised platform for the inground trampoline, and putting in a fish pond with lillypads and coi. Don't let them fool you, though they wanted all that done anyway, I just gave them a reason :D A good friend of mine played the keyboard and sang, he was great and it was all informal, no real big meal, just mints, nuts, cake, punch, blah blah. We had about 250 guests. These things usually have some sort of reception line with the parents/ bridesmaids, but I decided on no bridesmaids or groomsmen, and our parent situation was wacky, me having a dad and 2 moms and mark with just his mom, so we nixed that too. Worked out great.

We honeymooned up at his uncles mansion/cabin in Northern AZ. It was great and relaxing, but I don't have pictures of that. It was all FABULOUS!!!! I wanna do it again!!!

OW.....OW......OW....

Man I killed my legs yesterday!!! Since the squat rack AND smith machine were both being taken over by muscleheads,(no offense, Jimmy :))I decided to try the "super plate squat thingydingy" the one where you load plates on the sides, lay on your back and press upwards for a squat-like press. It was for my secondary set so I loaded on 130 (no biggie) and did 2 sets of 12 with a really wide stance. Then I did 2 sets of walking lunges with 20 pounders in each hand. I'm most sore in just the right spot, too, right where I want the most booty lift! YAY!! I knew I should have taken glutamine, but I forgot! So I'm hobbling today. Uh-oh, and its stairmonster day, too. ACCKK! Its ok, I'll just get over it. But everything HURTS!!


And this is my lame attempt at flexing my back. I had to take these myself the other day, so I didn't have anyone to tell me if I was doing it right. So I'm posting them both, because they show different things. I've definetly improved my back muscles. Esp. between the shoulderblades. I finally figured out how to hit those good a couple weeks ago. Now to get the pudge off so I can see it better!







An unfortunatly, no tape was needed in the shooting of these photos! :( LOL

Heres my new pictures- Week 4 to 9 comparison

I can't get the photos on tracker to load so I will put them here. I like week 4 better, actually. I feel like I look more fit in the new ones (on the right, red bottoms) but I look "better" in the old ones. Funny, I am just as tan now as I was then, its just the lighting. Hmmmmmm...lots of work to do. I did bust down to 137 this week, though, which is good news. Thats where I've felt I was all along anyway, the scale was just telling something different. NOW I will start to improve. Can you see how I would be frustrated?? SEE?? SEE???



I feel fatter after looking at these. I hate my butt. Mark says its getting smaller, I sure hope so.

I have a big confession!!!!

So here it goes. I have had a really good week. Perfectly good. No kidding. AND I'm doing Teresa's diet(pretty much). Here it is to refresh your memory:

m1: 4 egg whites, 1/3 c. oats, 1 T PB

m2: 3 oz lean protein, 1 C veggies, 1/2c. brown rice (or sweet potato/red potato)

m3: 3 oz lean protein,1 C green veggies, 1 T PB(or salmon and nix all PB)

m4: Myoplex lite, apple

m5: 4 oz lean protein, 1 C. veggies. 1 T PB

m: Whey protein shake w/water

This is LITERALLY what I have eaten every day this week. Started monday, its now friday night, and I did it!!!! I did not cheat one morsel!!!! Sometimes I changed around the order or the meal 3 and 4, depending on circumstances. This is the workout schedule:

M- UBWO, 45 min treadmill@ 20% incline /3.0
T- 45 min Stairmonster @ level 9
W-LBWO, 45 min treadmill same as Mon.
TH-45 min stairmonster @ level 9
F-UBWO, 45 min Treadmill
Sat- 45 min stairmonster (or HIIT)

Most days I was close to 2 gallons of water per day.

Here is the confession!!!

The reason I am sharing this is BECAUSE I don't want anyone to think I am some friggin superwoman or anything, I have a little help. I am taking a certain prescription appetite suppressant (yes, Tracey, there IS a magic BFL pill!) and it is working very well. I know, I know, I can just hear you all yelling at me, but I have made this decision, after MUCH contemplation and research. Is it legal, yes, is it legal for the BFL challenge, no. I'm totally off of everything else, even caffeine (don't need it with this)and I am making sure to eat enough. That part is the hardest. I could certainly go 2 days without a bite on this stuff. But that is just as bad as bingeing on something, so I have not skipped any meals. I do have to force feed myself, usually. And I am VERY thirsty.

But heres the bottom line. I have a 30 day supply, and then it will be gone. I'm just going to bust through this plateau, and is it ever a plateau. My body has not been smaller or in better shape than this since I was a teenager. Its gona be TOUGH to get down past where I am. I have done 1 week of the hell diet and it messed me up for a while. I have to grab this and run with it. I tried the diet posted above last week and I tanked big time. I thought it was all a mental issue with the super strict diet, but now I am wondering. Its like I plan this kind of mealplan and my body short-circuits. Now I am in TOTAL control. That is kind of what it is designed to do, get the body used to a stricter diet and then when you stop taking it it won't be such a shock to just keep the same healthy diet going. I feel great, I've had good energy, and no wierd side effects. It is addictive, so we will see, but I am not easily addicted to things. I've never even been caffeine addicted, and I've drank a LOT of caffeine on a regular basis.

SO tomorrow is freeday. I will be absolutely wrecked if I have ANY junk. I don't want to be sick. I'm thinking a hamburger. MABYE.

I feel wierd putting this out there. Ive been thinking about it all week. I wish it was layed out better and more clever, but oh well. I just feel I should come clean, because well, just because.

Pictures tomorrow. Wahoo!!!

Checking in....

This week is going well fitness and nutrition-wise. I cant go into detail right now but I am acing it so far. :D I've been reading all of your blogs but I haven't been commenting much, but I'm there. Just staying relly busy with the kiddos, Mark and stuff like that. 3 times a week my workouts are an hour and a half so fitting that in is taking a lot of time. But hey, at least I'm getting them done, and done well.


I guess I've been busy also with the kids, they are killing me this week, being naughty, making messes (i.e. new jar of miracle whip on the tramp, 6 escape attempts, peeing ON each other, refusing to wear clothes, etc etc etc) and its a full time job just to hand down all the punishment that go along with these mischevious activities. They are seriously wearing me down. But I think along the lines of Linne, the little turds have to be kept in line. I do have a feeling that some mouths are going to get introduced to some hand soap here in the near future. So far the threat has worked, and things have slightly calmed today so far. MUAHAAHAHAHAAHA!!! I absolutely feel like whatsherface on Desperate Housewives, especially after school, but the difference is I deal with things a litle more strict,(and I don't scream st my kids) and don't let them run the show. Although at times I flash back to the scene where they are running around being crazy and she dreams she shoots herself in the head........I try not to let it get to that point very often, it bothers me.

ANYway, thats what going on, just the grind. Lets just say...theres no WAY I'm missing a workout, I need the break from the boys everyday!!! And they love the gym, so we all win!! YAY!!!