Progress pics

I figured its been a while since I've taken any pics so I figured since I'd had a pretty good week (finally) I'd give it a shot. I had a couple that show something so here ya go. Of course its all upperbody, lets not get crazy. No way there is improvement in my lower body. At least not visible. I have been ripping up my hammies and butt lately so hopefully soon there will be. 7 weeks left.








Whatever muscle or tendon or whatever this thing is, I want more of it!!!!

Editors note: Misquote

I got word thru the grapevine tonight that a misquote on one of my previous posts may have caused some misconceptions. So let the comment be stricken permanently from the record:


Monday April 17, "My fab weekend"
"Yet he was so gracious about taking pics, and so complimentary to ME, the nerd royale! He [Ken Young] said I look great for having 5 kids."

He definetly did not say that in that context. What was ACTUALLY stated went a little more (or less) like this, Upon learning that I was the mother of 5 kiddos:

"Really??? Wow you look great!"

Thats it. Someone might get the wrong idea about the stricken statement, thinking it insensitive, but I had kind of streamlined the conversation for ease of writing and in my natural impulse to duck a compliment, I have made a great and very cool guy (Ken)feel bad. :( Hehe just to set the record straight.

Say Hallo to my leetle friend...........

Over here >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


I started my procrastination blog, "Paralysis of Will" (right when I said I would, too!!! YAY me!!!) I will tell you right now, read it at your own risk!!!!!!!

You may learn more about me than you ever ever wanted to know and more. BUT....I have to go into detail, so it makes sense to me, and I feel like I have already make some connections in my head. I put up the links of the info I found yesterday, They were extremely helpful to understanding what has been going on with me for so long. It still amazes me how the process of organizing thoughts an putting them out there can be so enlightening. I'm getting a handle on the problem, hopefully very soon I can start tackling the SOLUTION which will be life changing no doubt. Anyway, check it out (but don't say I didn't warn you) :D

Well, that was a first

Got up and out to the gym at 6 this morning (yay me!) and Casey and I start out HIIT on the treadmill. Did great, felt pretty good except for an unusual stitch in my side, (haven't had one in years) but I walked/breathed it out and kept going. I kept going strong for the whole 19 minutes. Finished my high point, ran an 8.5 for a full minute (!!) and then took it down to a 6.0 to finish. About 40 secs later I felt the big heave coming on, so I grabbed me shirt hanging there and after a couple I thought I'd be OK, but.....nooooooo I started running to the bathroom (didn't make it by a long shot) and heaved up all my water and stomach bile for about 3 full minutes. VERY UNPLEASANT!!!! I guess I hit a 10, huh??? Other than that I was fine, I guess I really pushed it. Was it the new early time? The empty stomach? I didn't go much faster or farther than usual, in fact I walked that little bit in the beginning cuz of the cramp. Hmmm. I was a little proud of myself though, like YEAH, I gave it all I had!!! I had to hurry home though because the taste in my mouth was unbearable!!!! EEEEEEW! TMI but seriously, gaaaah!Feel great this afternoon, after I took about an hour nap.

I also had my class to teach today, it went really well. We did meal planning. I gave everybody a blank weekly meal sheet to fill out and we just filled it out together and then I gave them an extra one to make copies of and then they could mix and match what they wanted to do for themselves later at home. I also gave them a couple of the meal recipes for EFL so they could make some stuff for the whole family that would also be on plan. I think everyone had fun and learned a lot. So far so good on the class. People keep coming back, so thats a good sign.

Now downtime is over and time to get the shorties from school, and the chaos will commence. Bleh. I hate homework! :( Mark will be gone all night tonight and has work tomorrow so I won't see much of him, I guess I'm on my own. It will be a good chance to start my other blog, the procrastination blog, and try to figure myself out.

Feeling better....at least physically! :P

Okey dokey, its a good day. I was up really early, my mind was full of a bunch of crap I needed to do (hate that) so at 4:30 there I was, making lists that I will probably never look at again. :( However, the early rise did set a good tone for the day and I got everyone up, to school (including nephew) and my butt to the gym. I was there before my buddy Casey so I was able to get in a 30 min elliptical session, then we killed our arms for our UBWO (oof, gonna feel that tomorrow) and I had over a half gallon of water down by the end of the workout. Then we hit the treadmill, I did my usual 20% incline for 30 mins at 3.5, burned a ton more cals. I was so drenched and stinky, it was great. rest of the days been good, eating GREAT and got more water. I was still at 137 today, down a little from my crazy chocolate sugar carb insanity, I am shooting for 133 for saturday. Planning on getting an early HIIT in the am, get it out of the way. I need to do everything I can now at this point to help myself, to get as lean as possible in the next 8 weeks. Every little scrap counts.


I'm having a personal issue, I don't know if anybody can help me out but I am having a severe procrastination problem, it is truly out of hand. I found a book on Amazon to get that will help me with it and it sounds pretty good but I was just wondering if anybody had read any books on overcoming this and if you had any suggestions. I don't want to go into detail, frankly, its humiliating the level which I have been at for my whole teen/adult life, but I can't do this bad habit any more. It's not that its really getting worse, but the repercussions of my "problem" are causing me real world trouble and it just has to stop. I guess as an adult the consequences affect too many others, its not like I'm just gonna get a bad grade for not doing a homework assignment, its big stuff now. Anyway, any reading suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Weekend

Had another fab saturday this week. 2 in a row now!!!! GO ME!!!Its all about fun, right?? Well, Dee Dee (Kana from Tracker) and her hubby Jim were here for NASCAR this weekend so we went up to Phoenix and met for breakfast. It was fun. They all went to the track after that but I had to get home to Coopers first wrestling tourney. We need to get a bigger BFL group together, there are a few of us in the area, it would be fun. Especially after seeing Lori's update, we really need to get it together. Actually isted of going straight tot he tourney I went to Ross and shopped a little (GREAT DEALS!!!) and got a Jamba Juice, THEN went to the tourney. hehehe It was nice to get out by myself and have a little fun. Plus I bought a cute size 7 skirt, for 5 bucks.









After Coops thing we came home, I took a nap, then got my whole house in order to start the week off right. Today has been GREAT, got more done this morning, church was nice, now its just rest and keep things out together, so I will have my MIND clear for this next week to KICK BOOTY and I can't have silly distractions like housework. :P ANyhow, it just feels nice today. Plus I've eaten clean, which feels great. Cant' wait to hit the gymsky tomorrow. UBWO, WOOT!

Ramble ramble......Motivation

There are a few sources that have been keeping me really motivated...2 days in a row. Watch out this is powerful stuff. :D

1: I read some of my old blog entries from back in January/February. Cool. My words then really spoke to me. I realized that I can do this. I think I was doubting myself quite a bit and didn't realize it. I really motivated myself. VERY POWERFUL!!!

2: I proceeded to reset all of my goals in writing. I made a whole new set to go up on the wall in my bathroom. They are all mostly the same, since I haven't achieved what I ultimatley am striving for, but I used different color ink, and changed and added a few things. Then I went and found a few new fitness models to really inspire me. Awesome.









3: I made a bunch of sticky notes with reminders on them of things that I do truly forget, then later think "AHHH! if I would have remembered that I could have avoided ___" The next morning the kids asked me "mom why are there signs all over the house??" They are stragtegically placed in my "forgetful" zones. So far working well.








4: I saw a mom at Cades zoo field trip that really impressed me. SO FIT and muscular. Pink tank top and shorts, she looked AWESOME!! Her bone structure was smaller than mine but I'd guess her at 13% BF. Great arms, great quads, just great. Then today while on the elliptical I saw another gal doing walking lunges in the gym with a 30 lb barbell across her shoulders. She went 2 lengths of the court, the did about 15 squats in place, then repeated, then ran a couple slow-ish laps around the court, and then repeated all of that 2 more times. She looked PERFECT!!! Not too much muscle, just right. Both of these ladies were 30 ish. I was totally mesmerized. I can do this! I want that kind of body sooo bad!I have to get this going.

I'm in day 2, I'm going straight thru the weekend till next saturday for freeday. I've had 2 great workouts and so far eating is going pretty well. I did cave to chocolate today. I'm battling a pretty severe truffle addiction right now. :( One of my goals is to give myself a daily score for workout and diet separately. This is so that as I track my progress I can clearly see if there is no progress I will be able to go back and say "oh, well, tues and wed you only rated at a 6" etc. blah blah blah. And its to keep me accountable to whoever reads my blog, you will all know how good/bad of a day I had. I am also gonna look into the Ephedra for sure.

I'm sore all over, I feel like I am ready to get this going finally. 8 weeks till the cruise. Back on Betagen too. Holding steady at 139.99999. LOL I better get crack-a-lacking. I got some cute workout bra tops at Sams Club today ( 3 for 10 bucks!!) they are smokin'!!!

The hips don't lie......I have work to do

And I can't deny it!!! So LETS GET TO WORK!!!! Tonight is the night for goals and meal planning, chicken/potato cooking and browsing the websites to get inspired!!!!!!

Get your groove on, peeps!!!!!!

Hips Don\'t Lie

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Easter and other stuff

Easter was nice. I was a little rushed, but it was mailnly my own fault for not getting my arse in gear the days leading up to it. The last 2 weeks I have been very lazy. My mood has been OK, but I just have had no motivation to do anything. Saurday since I was gone all day, I came home and only had 2 hours to go to the store, clean the house and put Easter together. :P yeah right! Marks sis and BIL came to watch the kids and color eggs while we went to a friends to watch UFC till 10 pm. So I had to come home and finish getting things together as best I could. I was exhausted though because it had been a loooong day with the run and all. In the AM we had to be up early, Because we had to do Easter baskets and get all the kids ready for church and be in Casa Grande (45 mins away) by 9 am for church. We actually made it!!! LOL Marks 2 cousins (brothers) were speaking in church because one had just come home from a mission, and the other was just leaving. It was cool, and we were glad we went allllll the way there for it. Then we spent the day at Marks Aunt and Uncles, and I basically ate myself sick(which takes a LOT nowadays), took a nap, then ate some more. And then some more. GGGAAAAH!

Monday I was still in to the Easter candy. I ate so much chocolate(and nothing else) I actually got heartburn. The house was a shambles because I felt like crap and just wanted to sleep(hmmm, wonder why?)I made it to the gym, but it was pretty pathetic. So finally I pulled myself together, made my master to do list for the cruise prep, made a grocery list, and headed to Sams Club about 8 pm, then Wally World,then home where I stayed up till 4 this morning cleaning and doing laundry. Got up at 7:30 and got ready for my nutrition class at 9. That went well, then I crashed, of course. Went to lunch with Mark, blah blah blah. I probably won't work out tomorrow because I will be at the zoo with Cades class for a field trip. I will be walking like crazy, our zoo is great but VERY tiring. Everything is so spread out and I swear its alll uphill. And its gonna be HOT tomorrow. It will be a fun day.

I need to make up my goals, but also need to get on the scale tomorrow(had chinese today though......YIKES!!!)and get real about what I have been doing to myself. Now is the time. I have to get refocused on this and get serious. S E R I O U S!!!!!

Why am I so hot and cold?? I know what my real nemesis is,(there are a couple) how do I overcome it?? Anybody want to analyze me? Where is the fierce, determined woman who could stick to a plan no matter what??? I think mabye I just need to detox and get the sugar out of my body and I'll be back with a vengeance, in the nick of time to get the cruise-worthy bod. Mabye I need a new song.

My fab weekend!!!!!!!

Started with Saturday, wow what a great day!! I got up at 5:00 and headed out to ASU to run Pat's Run.You might have seen the thread on Tracker, it was in honor of Pat Tillman. His story is so incredible. He was an ASU alumni and a AZ Cardinals Football player who after 9/11 gave up his lucrative contract to join the Army and fight in Iraq. He was killed in action by friendly fire. It is such a chilling story. He was a very inspiring guy and a real competitor who did everything 110%. Anyway it was a 4.2 mile run around Tempe town lake and into the stadium, it finished on the 50 yard line. I met up with Dana and Maricar and we all ran it, but we got separated. There were 8,000+ runners!!! By some miracle we all found each other after it was over. All along the way they had big banners with some of his quotes, a big picture of his face, boy you see that stuff and it just realy keeps you pumped up. Toward the end I was getting tired but then there were people lined up cheering us on, one guy really stood out to me, he was in a wheelchair, obviously crippled, wearing a Cardinals Jersey and cheering everybody on. I just about started crying, thinking, This guy probably knew Tillman, and he'd be running this for sure if he could, boy that got me. and then coming up the tunnel into the stadium, it was pretty emotional. A lot of people were standing there (mainly ASU footbal players) holding out there hands to slap as you run to the finish line. The stadium was about half full about that time of people watching and cheering. It was a great moment. I fely so happy that I ran the whole thing at a good pace and finished. My time on the display was 42:12, I think my chip time will be around 38-40 min., I haven't checked it yet. It was so much fun and very inspirational.

On to Awesome experience #2!!! After the race we went to Scottsdale and watched BFL champ Ken Young do a bike race. We were all so tired and sweaty, but it was our only chance. We got there for the end and cheered him on a little, then got to hang out and chat for a while. He was so nice and complimentary. I had heard he was a machine, um, oh YEAH! He's been training hard all week and racing his bike (this is like Lance Armstrong short-track stuff) and training and racing with retired pros of many different sports, not just bike. He said they were amazing. But he was racing against some real retired big shots. (Seriously, this is Kens first "season", he just "picked it up", and he's placing 3rd, 1st, 2nd, HELLO!!!!!!) He is a fitness ANIMAL. He had raced (i'm guessing like 30 mile races, all out)at 7:15 that morning, then we caught the end of the 11 am race, but he was wondering if they'd let him do the 5 pm race, just for fun, to see where he's place. His physique is in-freaking SANE, he really IS a machine. Yet he was so gracious about taking pics, and so complimentary to ME, the nerd royale! He said I look great for having 5 kids. And Danas camera is really slow to snap the pics, and he's like "hey, take your time! LOL" while he's got his arms around Maricar and me. LOL It was cute. We talked about the cruise, it was cool and I really wasn't nervous after the first couple minutes, because he was just so nice. He's was like "hey are you gonna go get pizza now after your race?, you gotta reward yourself" it was funny. It makes me SO SO SO excited to meet more champs and awesome BFL peeps on the cruise. AHHHHHHHH!

So yes, we did go get pizza!!! LOL








One thing about these pics......I don't know WHAT is up but I look HORRIBLE! Nice unshapen sausage arms :( Mark pulled them up and knew I would not like them. And Cade saw them and said "woah, mom.....you look big in those pictures. Like REALLY big. Way bigger than in real life." Gotta love kids. At least he threw that last part in. but seriously. YIKES.


I'll have to blog about Easter later, this is turning into a novel. :D

My class

I had my nutrition/fitness/weightloss classes this week (thanks for asking! :D)I had teh first one tuesday am and then repeated it last night because people who realy wanted to come had to work, and I really don't mind. This will be a weekly thing. I was glad so many people were even interested. Tuesday I had 4 gals come, and I was thrilled because I know they are really wanting to change, and are willing to try new things. One of them has recently had gastric bypass, but she wants to do the exercise and I think she liked it. The other is her sister, who is also very obese, you know the drill, has tried everything, just needed some hope and a reason to start. The other one had lost weight on WW but didnt' exercise and has gained it back, and the other is ready to have a baby in a couple weeks and wants to lose her baby weight plus some in a healthy way. I told them my story of why I decided to get in shape, how I did it, I showed them my first challenge pic(they were in total shock!) and I just basically did an overview of BFL and tried to get an idea of what they wanted to accomplish. Same thing last night, one lady is thin but is getting osteoporosis and needs to lift weights, one has cnadida really bad, and has a diet to combat it that works, but needs exercise motivation. SO, lots of different stories going on. Next week we are going to do meal planning, I have the blank worksheets off of the website to give them and we are going to all put a weeks worth of meals and snacks together according to what they like, including the family dinner using EFL and the authorized list. They seem to be pretty excited about it and the word is getting out now that we have started and it seems like something not too hard to do. We had fun and laughed a lot, it was cool. The week after meals we will do goal setting, and I'm thinking of putting a temporary home gym together in the future for weight lifting and go over that in a hands-on type of setting. Or possibly a gym field trip if some poeple want to do that (a few said they did). Rudy the big burrito is LDS and I think he would be willing to show some ladies around the machines, it would give him a chance to look so cool, hehe Anyway the feedback I got at playgroup this morning was really positive, and I think more people will start coming out. The 2 really big ladies told me today that their husbands are TOTALLY excited about BFL and went out and bought the books and everyhting that day!!! LOL I thought that was so great!! They are big fat guys, it would be awesome for them to do it! Anyway, thats how its going so far. I give myself an A-. LOL The minus because I need to work on being better organized with my presentation, but tis just hard when there is SO much great info, I want to just tell them EVERYTHING, because it all ties together in the end. (kinda like my blog!LMAO)Whew! But I'll get better with time I think. I have to say, the pic are what really got their attention, for sure. If I can help just 1 person, it would be totally worth it.

Now before you go telling me good job and all, I have been struggling with my own program this week. I know! I know!!!The cruise!! AHHHHH! I haven't made goals yet, I havent planned a meal, taken 2 days off from the gym, grrrr! I am totally unmotivated to do ANYTHING, let alone workout and eat properly. Its been a very tough week emotionally, financially, everything. When I feel like I don't have enough cash flow I get really off and pissy to myself, I will pull it around though. I AM going to the gym today, even though my 2 reasons for going are not noble. The first reason is to punish Cade, he was yeling at me from the car and honking the horn at the park this morning because he wanteed to leave, which is totally NOT acceptable so his punishment is 2 hours at the gym, he will not be permitted to stay home alone. HAHAHAHA! So there! He's really mad at me about it right now, but hey, he acted like a creep. The other reason is because I am going to see the whole fam on sunday, so I want to do a really good heavy UBWO so my arms and chest look better. hehe hows that for vain, huh?? Hey, whatever gets me there. I'll probably tan too. So there ya have it. I'm trying to pull my head out, I really am.

He's cute, but.....

Yeah, that little cutie in the video is really cramping my sleep style. He gets in my bed almost every morning lately and loves to snuggle his knees into my sides. I can't sleep with anyone touching me, and he tosses and turns. I can't put him on the edge, because I can't sleep between him and Mark, Im too claustrophobic, and if I get up to put him back in his bed, I can't go back to sleeep. So I'm up an hour early today. Grrrrrr.

Didn't do so hot on the eating, didn't eat hardly at all all day, then Arbys for dinner. I have some important things hanging over my head that need to get accomplished, some MAJOR stress, no grocery money for a couple more days, I just have to survive and try to get those things done. I will admit I have a bit of a procrastination problem. I spent nearly the whole day on the computer yesterday, what a waste. But I was coping, and it numbed my brain sufficiently to get me thru it. The only thing that got my heiney going was my MIL was coming over and I had a new hair client to cut, so I had to pull the house together.

Today I have to take Cade to get his cast off, then I have scouts, then I"m doing a fitness/nutrition class here at my house tonight. I did one tuesday am, it went well, I'll update all of that later. I have 2 new projects in the works, BIG projects, things that could really change life for me, but I am not ready to disclose details. Its good stuff, I'm excited.

This is a test........

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Wyatt singing on christmas morning. Awwwwwwww! LOL

I only mean this in a fun-loving way.....

Are some of the new(and old) profile names on Tracker driving anybody else crazy?? I mean, we've had our fun with cookie1135 but off the top of my head I see chocolateaddict,chocolate, recovering chocoholic, cake, crispywafers, scoobysnacks(dont know why, but those sound good), of course Cookie. I'm sure these are all lovely people and they have a reason for these particular names, I'm not saying they should change them, but its seriously distracting. And if my screenname was Cake, there is no way in HELL I'd be able to stay focused on clean food. I know, its just a silly name, I should be above it affecting me, and it dosen't, but I'm just sayin' is all.

It also dissapoints me to see peole who call themselves things like Im2fat, desparate, bigolbooty(ok I made that up, but you know what I mean)It just seems so defeating! I want people to be looking FORWARD to what they are going to be! I would never want to give anybody advice or input if my name was "fatso" or something. If you think I am talking about YOU specifically, I am not!! Its just a general observation that I had that I wanted to adress. I'm sure these nice folks have a great reason for these crazy names, but it just makes it hard for me to log on to tracker and be reminded of all the yummy stuff I am trying to avoid. OK rant over.

Leg progress

Ok, so I put it back up. Apparently this is what my legs look like in a picture. Well, a surprise picture Mark was trying to take of me bending over to fix my shoe. I don't think they they look like this in real life for some reason. Is it because I can't see them straight on, its always at an angle or something?? Well what ever it dosen't matter. There is something under there, I just have to get my crap together long enough to uncover the good stuff lurking. Anyway, thats it. Nice squishy gut hanging there. At least most of it leaves if I stand up straight. Does everyone have that? My mind is so wierd. I'll just keep working till I get there. I have like 9 weeks till the cruise now. Time is passing, I can't get any days backs so I better get serious. If I can lose just 5 pounds of solid FAT I will be happy. Focus, Grasshopper.

Its Freeday!!

I love freeeday. Its so nice. Its always on saturday. I slept in. I got my house a tidy. Hung out with the kids. I have had so far, 2 small bowls of AppleJacks, Graham crackers, Chips and cheese, and a piece of turkey. Can you tell theres nothing in the house good to eat?? I think I'm gonnna have a cheeseburger later. I was at 135 this morning. Not too bad considering I really only had 3 and a half good days this week and 4 workouts. Now I must wait next week till sunday for freeday, for Easter. I'll be seeing some family I haven't seen in a while and I'd like to be down to 133 by Sunday. Thats gonna take some real perfect days this week, and some serious working out. I tried to go workout yesterday, I thought I was being clever going to the gym with the kids after school(to preserve my clean house and keep them busy before dinner) but I forgot Sadie had dance and I had to choose either UBWO or 45 min cardio. I picked Cardio but I only made it about 16 minutes. My head was not in a good place. I felt like CRAP!! Its a long stupid story involving money so I won't bore you, but I had a pit the size of a grapefruit in my gut, I wasn't feeling much like walking. I didn't even feel like tanning, you know thats bad. So I bagged it. I should have done HIIT instead but I didn't even think of it,thats how "off" I felt. I feel better today, but I think I might be having a couple small issues. Honestly, I do not recognise my body in my pictures. My latest side shot is totally foreign to me. I do not see that body in the mirror. I truly do not. Is that bad?? Do I just need to give it time for my past to catch up with my reality? I feel like I look the same as I did 10 months ago. I see specific changes, but I don't see the whole thing. I don't really know what I am trying to say, its just wierd. Anyway, thats why I took down that other post that showed my legs, I just felt like that wasn't representing what I really look like, but hello, I took that pic less than a week ago. Its a new body, I'm just not used to it yet.

I just need to add one last thing. Mark was supposed to be in Panama this weekend deep sea fishing with his dad and 2 brothers and nephews. However due to some things we had planned falling through and between rent, first of month bills, and the cruise, something had to give. Mark has not been together with both his brothers and his dad in 10 years, but he had to cancel his trip last minute. He basically picked taking me on the cruise over his big fishing trip. On a past trip his brother caught a 300 lb Marlin, so it was sure to be a fun time, not to mention that his brother was surprising his dad by bringing his son. Instead Mark had to stay here and work all day today to make up for the stuff that got messed up. He's totally cool and fine about it, its just dissapointing, and I realy just appreciate him for not dissapointing me and for putting us on the ship in June. I realize, A cruise with me would be over the top fun for him, ;0 and he will be eating like a king, its not all for me, but I just love him for making the executive decision and being so awesome about it. I know he REALLY was looking forward to it.

My places-for Jimmy :D

I've lived a lot of places.

Born:Duluth, MN
the rest of the list:

Clouquet, MN (till age 7)
Tempe, AZ
Mesa, AZ
Gilbert, AZ
Panama City, Panama
Chandler, AZ
Mesa, AZ
Payson, UT
Tampa, FL
Lehi, AZ
Mesa, AZ
Payson, UT
Chandler, AZ


Boy it looks funny when I post it like that. We must be nuckin' futz!! LOL I won't even get into why for all the crazy moves, but let me also add that some of those cities listed also involved a move "in town" so we have actually lived in more "places", though it was in the same city. Craziness.


My BFL score for today:

Eating:10
Workout:10

Back at it!

I got back on track yesterday.....WHEW! I did nt get my HIIT done till abot 4 pm but hey, I got it. I was absolutely SOARING on the treadmill. If felt so good, till it was over, then I was a little sick but I think it was the good kind of sick. I ate MUCH better. Now that I"m back to my old ways, Mark wasnt too thrilled that I refused his request to go buy him a coconut cream pie at 10 o'clock last night. Sheesh. The nerve of me, huh??? LOL He went and bought his own damn pie. I got sick on cocnut cream once as a kid(ate too much of it) and it really does not appeal to me whatsoever. Whew.

I think having my little anniversary was a real motivator, and especially taking the pictures. I hate that suit, but I'm glad I did it. It was also a nice feeling to have such a good "back on track" day as a celebration. Normally I think of celebrtion as involving some decadent food but not this time. Times, they are a'changing!!

I am back on the BFL approved foods only list, I need the fastest results possible I know that you can still get great results with the EFL book, I love it, but I am in for a sprint right now. Actually, it feels more like the 300m hurdles, but hey, at least I'm in the running!! I used to run the 300m hurdles in high school, IMO it is the toughest race in track and field, mabye aside from the 400, but its debatable. I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna get to where I need to be. End of story. Im back on top, boys and girls, anybody up here with me????

!!!!!!

Damn it all to Hell, why did I have to make such F'n good meatloaf???????!!!!!! And rice a roni?????? SHIZNIT!!

I'll do better tomorrow, I promise!!

STRESS!!!!

Between the finances, this huge traffic ticket I got, and the kids and house I'm kinda losing it today. I did have a kick butt workout today though. I had to take a mini-chill on the eating (yeah,so its day one,and I caved :P)I just couldn't deal. Marks a big ball of nerves too. Trying to get things figured out for his trip on thrusday, and making sure things are taken care of here. Things are always just the worst timing for us. Thats a really general statement but so true. I'm not sure if its OUR timing, or what but we are just so sick of it. Grrrr. I just want to leave it alone. I need to get past comforting myself over it and suck it up.. Besides, there is nothing left to comfort myself with in the kitchen. :) looks like time to stsrt vacuuming blinds and scrubbing fans and baseboards. That actually will make me feel better.

On a better note, I am SO proud of my friend Casey. She is really kicking butt. We did UBWO today, and let me tell you, this girl has the fire. She told me she could hardly sleep last night because she was just feeling so good and couldn't wait to get to the gym this morning. She said she felt great all weekend, and her kids were commenting on how happy she was and what a good mood she was in. I was just beyond thrilled to hear this. She really pushes herself in the gym, too, lifting to failure and just so willing to learn and try new stuff. She said she could hardly get up the stairs after her last HIIT. I'm telling you, its awesome to see. It really pumps me up. Too fun.

I did my measurements and weight this morning, took pics last night. Not good, but not anything upsetting. Honestly, I feel like I am still way fatter than I look in the pics. Its so wierd. I feel like I'm still hugely out of proportion. But then I see the pictures and I'm confused, because they are not that bad. It helps that they're out of focus too. What is wrong with me??? I think my face looks older since I have no fat left in it,Mark loves it and says it looks good, but then again, he's always had a thing for older women :P I see my thighs sitting down and I feel like they are just spreading out so wide on my chair, but mabye it just my brain doing wierd things. I still love my small jeans, they feel great on, who knows what size I am. Does it matter??? No, it shouldn't but it kinda does. I just need to look forward and do what needs to get done here, and that is WORK HARD and EAT RIGHT. Thats it. I just gotta do that. 2 things. 2 stupid things. I can. I know I can. I already AM doing it, mostly, just need to tighten it up. I need to knock this week dead to show an improvement to Mark when he gets back. It will be a small goal to do that. A teeny baby step. As the famous actor Ben Stiller in the role of "starsky" says........"DO it. DO it" ROFL

Birthday pics

Mark beat me in air hockey, actually I technically beat myself becasue I made my own dixk go into my own side 3 times. I have nicer hair than Mark so I win anyway. Hehe. It was fun fun for the kids. We practically had the place to ourselves, too. Cool.


I've slacked off big time all weekend, I did manage to organize all my pictures on my computer and burn it all to a CD so I feel happy about that. Now I'm gonna go shower, clean up the house, then get cracking on a to do list and goals. I'm getting really excited to get planning SERIOUSLY on my challenge tomorrow. I need something about the cruise up where I can see it to keep me motivated, though. I may have to make an addition to my goals poster on my walls. I need a good pic of someone in a vacations setting in a bikini. Or mabye I need to actually purchase the red bikini and hang it up somewhere , like the girl in the yogurt commercial.

Tonight I'm taking new pics, and tomorrow a.m. I need to weigh and measure. Im gonna be WAY up in weight and waist inches. EEK! I did OK last week, but no where near what I needed to do. I am thinkiong the EFL thing isn't gonna work.I just don't think I can take a backwards step like that, now that I did it original BFL for so long. Im gonna do it. I have 11 weeks, I need to maximize this. And I am also doing BFL weights, but 3 days HIIT and 3 days 45 min moderate cardio. WOOT! I'm still sore as heck form friday, but I'll work thru it. Let get ready to ruuuumbllllllllleeeee!

Weekend!!!!!!!

Well, its not a party weekend, I'm staying home to watch church on TV all day saturday and sunday, although we are going out tonight with some friends.

Birthday party was fun, kids had a blast, I did too. It was like more of an indoor amusement park, and most of the kids hadn't been there before. I thoguth it was really a good deal, too, although Mark dosen't agree(men are clueless about this stuff sometimes) it was 130 dollars, for a party of 8 kids, included pizza, cake, tokens, and as much running around and riding rides as they could handle. We just got him 2 gifts(we told him the big party was one of his presents) and all the kids brought presents. It was all good until Dayton managed to take Coopers new Darth Vader toy (that was on Marks watch)and lost it somewhere in the place. So he was pretty bummed. We'll have to replace it today. FYI Don't eat junk food and then go on a kiddie ride that just goes in a circle, You might come within moments of barfing. Boy, I am getting OLD!!!

I taking this weekend off. I really am trying to make this for life, so I am going to just not kill myself with guilt today and tommorow, it will actually help me eat better. Funny how that works. Monday I will be back on track. My workout yesterday was great. I went with my friend Casey and she met me at the gym and we did LBWO. It really was fun. But I am SORE. And my arms are still sore form wednsday. I'm hurting today. It feels good though. At the party the last night I was on that ride and the bones in my hip and ribs were digging in to the sides of the ride, it REALLY hurt, but I was actually secretly glad that I was bony enough to feel it. :) Is that stupid or what??? LOL It did really hurt, though.

I need to get focused on my eating. I haven't officially done my goals yet. I will have time tomorrow, I must do this. I need a big todo list and I will make that tomorrow. I still need to get lots of things organized, including our finances. I'm gonna get out the Money Makeover book and get that going too. I've GOT to do it. I feel panicky sometimes because I just feel so scattered right now. Things float thru my brain that I think "oooh, I need to do that" and then....I forget for a day or 2. Thats just so stupid. I need to sit down with Mark and figure out what he needs to leave me money-wise before he goes to Panama next week. :(. Gotta get cracking!!!

Could this post be anymore random??? Pick a subject already, woman??? LOL