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5 years ago
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Taking my dedication to (freakish) new levels
As some of you may know I go through these crazy episodes that defy all reason to get things done. Slow and steady does NOT win the race for me. I prefer lazy butt and then a gigantic BURST of cleaning induced psychosis , followed by more laziness. I usually end up pulling an all nighter. It had gotten so bad(the laszy) that I had been spending umpteen hours on the 'puter(Kids? I have kids??) and I kid you not up until 4 pm yesterday my christmas tree was up and fully decorated. AAAHHHH! I kind of forgot it was there. It really wasn't bothering me, but I kind of realized that if someone stopped by, say from church or something, I might end up on the "needs service" list so I figured I better get it taken care of. I was a little embarassed when my neighbor saw me taking the boxes into the garage. Oopsie. Well the whole thing flipped a switch and I realized it was almost 2 am and the kitchen was still a mess and the floors could not be seen or I would DEFINETLY end up on the list. I really was not tired. I hadn't taken any caffeine since like 6 that morning, so it wasnt that either. I dunno. So the all nighter goes on. I worked until about 4, then decided well I'm up this late, I may as well finish up and just go straight to the gym a 5:30. So, pop goes the "fatburner" and I just went straight to my leg workout,(which was killer BTW) NO SLEEP. Got home, got the kids to school, Laid down for an hour, now here I am, peppy as if I"d had a solid 8. Its almost 10:30 and Im trying to choke down breakfast. I cut it down to a 1/4 C. oats and a little less protein powder, I'm half done and I"m stuffed. This is M1. What is wrong with me????? I can't rest anymore until after 3 now, because I have a hair client coming in 2 hours, a kid to get to kinder, and I still have to go to thw beauty supply. Really after 3 is no good either, because it homework and house full of hungry kids. I'm really happy I got my workout in today. Am I losing it???
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11 comments:
You made bi-polar so sexy. ;-)
"Make" -- that's what I meant to say. OK, but I made my snarky comment before reading your post and, I admit, with just a twinge of jealousy. But now that I've carefully read the whole thing I'm a tiny bit concerned.
A question first, though -- are you talking about home visits, when someone from the church comes by and assesses the state of your home? That puts a whole new spin on things for me ... What would being on the special needs list mean? Just being nosey.
OK, back to you: since I'm pretty positive you're not taking meth, I wonder whether you have ever considered talking with a psychiatrist? I jest a bit, and I'm obviously not a professional, but your cycles of "lazy" and "productive" are pretty consistent and pretty extreme, and now with your appetite decreasing the way it has -- it makes me wonder about manic-depression/bi-polar.
On the other hand, aside from not eating enough and not sleeping enough, you aren't doing detrimental things when you're "up," like partying for days on end or leaving your kids to fend for themselves. It's when those things happen (or if you go psycho and scream at family, friends) that people need help. You -- you're just getting it all done.
I do that a little bit, too, but not "as well" as you do. :-) If you ever read a diagnostic manual for psychological "conditions," you'll notice that pretty much everyone falls into one disordered category or another -- all levels of personality have a rank between mania and depression, pretty much.
Anyway, if you're concerned, you might want to talk to a doctor. But maybe not. Just be careful to try and rest enough and eat enough, and if you can't sleep, make SURE to eat enough to keep your body healthy during your jaunts -- even if your brain isn't telling you it needs fuel, your body might be suffering.
Meantime, well, enjoy the energy. :-) I hope I didn't come off like a bitch on this post.
xo,
K
LOL Ok I was pretty much kidding about the "special needs list" Although They do try to keep tabs on like single moms, people who might really need asistance with theri kids for rides, that sort of thing. I was pretty much kidding on that. Theres no "assesment" I'm sure most poeple houses are worse at some point. I'm just a nut.
I am getting hungry, but it takes very little to fill me up right now. And it lasts the 3 hours, usually. Still don't know what thats about.
I'm sure I am a little bi-polar, but I think part of it is just wanting to do everything and just not being able to. I get to point where I couldn't do a load of laundry to save my life, and I'll wash the same load 3 times over because its say in the washer for 3 days, but then I can get 8 loads done in one day other times. Um, did I just prove a point here? LOL
I figure I'm a mess, but as long as I am in a pretty good mood over it all I'm OK, right?? And as long as I get all my workouts in, I'll be happy.
You are to FUNNY>>>>> I wish you had come by my place by house needs a good cleaning, but by 9 pm I am ready to jump in to bed, and I hate to admit this, but I am ready to sleep.....
Casey
WOW quite the day ( night??) & wow lots to read here what with you & Karenna chatting about Bi-polar. ( I've lived with it- my sis in her "high" phase was an adventure to be around! -but happy high.. some are angry.. & that 's BAD..) any who hon hope you get some rest tonight.. i don't wanna see you get burnt out
we love you too much for that ok?
Hugs
Lala*
omigawsh... that sounds like me! (hope I didn't scare ya there). I don't know what it is either. Maybe it's a "oh the housework can wait, I have better things to do" which leads to the "holy smokes! what happened to the house?!" thing. That's usually what happens to me anyways.
I've never pulled an all nighter, but I'm pretty sure I could if I had to. It seems something like that on a smaller scale happens to me on an almost daily basis...lol.
Doesn't that kill ya when you wash the SAME load so many times?? Argh. I'm trying to save money, and I use 3 times the water, electricity and soap on the SAME clothes! bleh.
LOL DG That does frustrate me, during a bad spell I probably waste 8-10 loads of laundry soap!! Grrrrr! Uh oh, I had a little nap, I feel a late night comin on.....AAACK! I need to get all that laundry put away....
Okay...you win, I thought I was a busy girl...roflmao...damn girl, I am way tired just reading that...oh, and if it makes you feel any better, my tree just got put away on Sunday.
Hugs
Christie
Well I really found the "needs service" list quite comical LOL.
One thing I'm very certain of is I enjoy you're writing emensely during this "cycle" - gives me giggles. However Karenna did have some interesting comments that I found very interesting and not at all bitch. Matter of fact I believe it would apply to us all.
meant to say bitchy
Janel just be careful. It sounds like your body is in survival mood and the more you cut your food down the worse it will get. If you are eating tiny meals and not getting hungry then your body thinks it needs to hold everything and you are going to burn up your muscle. Are you eating 1,000 cal. yet?
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