Mark is getting on a plane to Panama as we speak. Lets just say I'm a little bit jealous. Usually when he goes its for work and he has meetings and all. This time a buddy is moving down there and wanted Mark to come and help him settle in and show him around so he bought Mark and his cousin Tom tickets. So its gonna be nothing but hanging out, reading, spending time with his family (his dad, brother, sil and 4 kids live there)eating at great resaurants, blah blah blah. Here I am doing baseball, scouts an Cades book report till 10:30 tonight. NOT FAIR! But to be fair, he left me with some extra cash and I am planning to get a sitter and go get my nails done and mabye get some jeans (hopefully I'll pick the right ones...do ya think Target might have some?? I hope) And I have TON to do before next week. And I mean a TON to do. I get these crazy plans that are way overboard before an event. I have to have EVERYTHING done. I mean, seriously, why do the sheets need to be freshly washed in order to have Thanksgiving dinner??? Why do I feel compelled to rip out the ugly bushes in front of my house and replant hibiscus?? My showers and tub MUST be scrubbed just in case someone wants an impromptu shower. The baseboards and corners have to be scrubbed especially behind all doors, because if someone uses the bathroom they will close the door and see behind it. Monday night is spot-painting night. Hair must be highlighted, eyebrows waxed, and nails done before this event can happen. WHY WHY WHY???!!! I have to do every bit of this myself, since I am broke. If had the cash, you can bet I'd be having housecleaners, going to a salon appointment, and having a landscaper come in and do the planting. Well, I may get a quote on the carpet cleaning, at least for the couches. AHHHH I only have a week. Why do I torture myself? I need opinions, does everyone do this???
Here is my theory or reasoning, I don't know if I have it right or not. I was the oldest of 7, and my step-mom just always seemed to get it all done. People were always ohhing and ahhhing over our house, and it always seemed cleaned, laundry was done EVERY day, She always pressurewashed the entire house before a get together. My aunt was the same way. I mean, the woman was so organized she had the breakfast cereal and bowls and spoons set out on the table the night before. I actually lived with these people and saw this daily firsthand. She had 6 kids and a spotless house. I think I am chasing that. I could say I am chasing the "illusion" but thats the problem, it wasn't an illusion it was real. I've said that jokingly to them both before "Thanks a lot, ladies, you've created a monster" but was I joking??? Now, I don't even come close to their standards. I try not to have guilt over that. But i still feel like I am not doing it right.
Heres where I can cut myself some slack.
My mom could affored to pay to have all the stuff done. She had housecleaners most of the years I can remember. She had Sears come every year and maintain the appliances. She also had me to do a lot of the stuff and other kids to do chores(chores that actually helped, unlike my kids chores lol)She had yard guys and window cleaners come periodically. I don't have that.I have to break out the squeegee and the weedwhacker.
My aunt had my uncle. She worked him like a dog. He washed the cars in the driveway once a week. He cleaned the carpets once a month. He did yardwork once a week. He did all that stuff. She totally screamed and wailed and demanded what she needed, and she got it. The Christmas lights were ALWAYS up on Thanksgiving day, because thats the way it was. Don't get me wrong, she worked herself like a dog as well. Imagine a homemker on speed with add, thats her.
I have no money to hire things done, and a husband who will do things on his schedule, if he gets to it. He likes things to look nice, but he's not going to kill himself to get it done. SIGH so what is my choice?? I have to do it myself. What am I trying to prove?? Hell if I know.
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Oh yes, there are others out there. I totally relate, I've done it myself. Seems that once I had the projects all lined up before the big day, stress, stress, stress, I wasn't happy until I added MORE.
This is what my own self analysis has come up with. First, I'm not happy with myself and can't do anything to improve it. If I do something about "where I live" it makes me & my life look better. Everyone will overlook me & my shortcomings because they will be so enthralled with what I've done. Its like over compensating. Here's another good example. Take Christmas gifts (or any other gift). Of course you want the receiver to like it or at least be impressed. I use inexpensive materials to wrap & decorate, ie. pretty coloured tissue from the dollar store, its been in the store so long its faded so takes on a better hue of colour than the original colour, various colours of netting (like bridal veil stuff), cheap, cheap and add some kind of embellishment like spray from a bargain bin 50 cents take it apart, use just leaves or berries with sparkles whatever. All this used with whacky mismatched colours - stunning! People ooh & aah, my $20 gift now looks like I spent $25 to wrap it (to some people). See this way they overlook the "inadequate" gift LOL.
As far as mothers (mine was quite talented & modest) - I've accused my own for setting a standard so high and now what she's done is put me in a position where I can't possibly attain the standard. My mom told me over time she started to "burn out". I've felt the same (right now its different, its grieving/depression time). But in the past I have felt the beginnings of that burnout. Especially when I realized that the ONLY person who REALLY cared was me. Also, going above and beyond say for thanksgiving just doesn't impress anyone anymore. I think they all just look at me "oh well thats just Tracey" - they're used to it - yikes!!! I think its becoming quite clear & obvious that doing all this is just for me. How about you Janel, who are you doing it for? Thats the big question.
So if I don't kill myself, make a truly outstanding meal, make everything look nice, they're impressed all the same. It sure beats painting the kitchen cabinets while the turkey is in the oven. Or decorating 2 dozen oranges with cloves in intricate designs, each one different like snowflakes (I would need to point that out should someone comment), heaven forbid if 2 were decorated the same - someone would surly notice. And where the hell am I going to get purple hydrangeas (I like purple & orange at thanksgiving)? Guests are 10 mins away & I'm frantically driving around looking for purple hydrangeas which are not going to be found here. Whether I find the hydrangeas or not, nobody is going to pay any attention to the ridiculous oranges, they will rot in the bowl most likely and they certainly won't notice the purple hydrangeas whether they're there or not.
Again, who is this really all about?
Um, who's blog is this anyway????
I did the same stupid "driving and searching" things this week..I wanted hand made invites to send out(for my FAMILY???) so I found this chic, simple example in a magazine. Then went across town to 3 places to fnd some type of fall button. Well the ones I find are WAY too expensive so I had to chnge my invite design. Now I think they look lame, and to top it off there is a teeny typo on 3 of the invites. They aren't what I originally planned so now they aren't "good enough" but I spent the time and $$ so now I feel like i should send them. I don't even like them enough to post a pic on my blog.
Can't we just buy an expensive sportscar and be over with it??
You should've seen my mom s thanksgiving tables. Boy I wish I had a picture of those thigs, they were incredible. And now I can't find one of my table elements so I have to drive around to a couple places today to try and track down a stick-garland with berries. If I can't find it I am going to have to make it because I have everything else for the table decoration but that and I can't change now.
This is a sickness, a SICKNESS!!!!
I have a feeling your Christmas wrapping must match your tree decor too, am I right?
It's all Martha's Fault ;)
I had the opposite issue. I'm laid back - the house should be 'livable' but didn't need to be perfect.. etc.
But my ex - he was raised by a woman who 'did it all'. I love his mother to death but she had some big big shoes to fill.
Did he want to help? Nope - hid Dad never had to.
We would get into HUGE fights over stupid things like dishes and vaccuming.
Needless to say it's one of the MANY things that drove us apart.
Put down the crackpipe, both y'all.
OK, just pass it over here instead . :-)
And Janel, you are the only Mormon I know who would not have to look up crackpipe. :-) You'd atleast KNOW what it is.
((hugs)) K
Does my wrapping match my tree? Well what do you think? The WHOLE ROOM would be an eyesore if I didn't. But whats worse is what comes through the front windows.
The Griswalds live directly across the street. The freak-show woman starts on Halloween and from there we go into Thanksgiving & then of course Christmas. Now whats bad is what Ms. Griswald uses. She's got every season out there - Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Hannukah, birthday, every decorative ornament comes out - plastic ivy, donkeys, BLUE pointettias (blue - WTH?) bumble-bees, stars, flowers, hanging baskets (plastic thingies), hang on let me look......garland, dogs, snowmen, sticks, lights of every size, colour, some flashing, some not flashing, some honking.
Now what it looks like Griswald does is stand in the middle of the street and just throw it AT THE HOUSE!!!!! If it sticks like Velcro okay but the rest gets dangled on the velcroed stuff. Then..............she goes back to the store to get more.
I've got this little "theme" thing going on in my white house & this stuff literally "blares" through my 2 front windows.
Sickness you ask - yes, you, me & the Griswald freak show.
It'd be okay if my sportscar was white wouldn't it?
LOL Honking decorations...Its funny but I am doing an all white christmas tree again this year (I mean regular tree, all white decoration)I would love to see a pic of your tree Tracey. I KNOW you have one! lol
Mark is probably so glad to be outta here right now, I get CRAZY when I am getting ready for this stuff. All cranky and demanding. I did have a good day and got a lot of stuff acomplished, mostly errands while the kiddos were in school.
I've decided I'm just overcompensating for being poor. I really think thats it. Its a lot of work to put on a wonderful holiday season while being poor. But this is what I do.
Hey I need that crackpipe back...;0
Hey Janel, pass the crack pipe back because there's something whacky about you're blog here!!!!!
I've posted twice now & it don't want nothing to do with me!!!!
Anyway, no wonder we have no money to do the nice things - it's all going into the crack pipe LOL.
OMG you guys!! I'm reading this quietly at work .. or at least I was until the Griswold imagery litterally had me falling off my chair here in the nursing office-cause I was LAUGHING sooo HARD!!!
Ya that'll be good to explain to the compensation board when I have to go off work-injured~!!!! .."it was this friend of mine see.. she wrote some thing REALLLY funny....hmmm maybe not eh??" LOL!
As to the whole overboard on decorating thing...All I can say is you guys are whacked!.. ..oh.. is this the part where I stand up & say "hi my name is Pamela & I'm a whacko"... lol!
I hear ya hon.. although we don't do nearly as much here for Thanksgiving..personally I save all the insanity for Christmas.. you know the part where I make Jamie climb 45ft up a tree to get me the "Good" looking branches with the little cones..for the swags that go out on the flipping GARAGE!
Ya I think we all have these ideas of how we "HAVE" to do things!
I wish I could fly down & help you
do everything.. you think Jamie will let me??
Is it a bring your own crackpipe party??! lol!
;)
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