OVERWHELMED

Thats it, just OVERWHELMED. Theres no simplifying my life, short of selling off a couple kids, and obviously thats not an option. Threr are so many things I want to change about my life, but those changes are not feasible at this stage of my life, I have to learn to live with stuff. Or, continue to live with the challenges I've always had. I think in my next post I better start listing all my blessing or something, that would be good.

I'm feeling terrible right now because I found out that Cade has been being bullied at school, apparently there is a "don't hang out with Cade" rule going around right now. So they are not physically bullying him, but ostracizing him. It really kills me. This is like my worst nightmare, that is no joke. Luckily we've had lots of good ocnversations, the school is on his side and is doing something about it, but it still hurts my feelings like nothing else. It hurts me this bad, I can't imagine what he must be going through. Every day when I drop him off the dread he must feel. I almost started crying this morning dropping him off and watching him walk over to line up. Its really horrible. He has friends in other classes, but they don't have lunch or recess with those other classes, so it does him no good. I'm pissed that the teacher didn't clue in, she dosen't really like him for whatever reason, so mabye it wouldn't have helped. Luckily he knows he's an awesome kid (Lambs are renowned for their confidence) and we just have to finish this year, and I will make sure he is in class with his friends next year. If the principal wont make that happen, I will be checking into other schools.

Anyway, not everything is bad, but its been a tough week.

Happy Mothers Day update

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to everyone out there! My day has been nice so far, it started going down hill a bit but I pulled it around. I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY today! Heres the recap of how it went downand a little lesson for us all that there IS a master plan out there, we just don't always get the memo-

So I got up on time, made yummy breakfast, got my kids out the door by 8:15 all on my own, we are rockin and rollin. Got church done, it was really busy but fun, get home....and the little "mothers day entitlement" starts creeping in. I make the mistake some years of thinking I'm gonna get pampered or treated special or something but thats just not how it goes around here (especially when Mark has worked all night and hasn't been to sleep yet...can't blame him)So of course I'm dead tired from working my tail off this week (illustrated by the fact that I lost 3 pounds and wan't even really dieting or working out that dilligently) and just wanted a nap. I'm not kidding the little turkeys were in my room bugging me and in the process disturbing Mark every 20 minutes for an hour. I had to get up finally and I was NOT HAPPY. So I told them since they wouldn't let me sleep we were going to work instead of relax and I put them to task bigtime. Rooms, dishes, backyard, anything I could think of. Major punishments. JUST as I was finishing up the vacuuming guess who surprises me at the door..........my LANDLORD comes by for a pop-in because I'd called him earlier to come look at some stuff and he just happened to be going by. HA! BOY was I relieved that I hadn't been asleep all afternoon, the place would have been thrashed and I would have been SO stressed out. He came at the perfect time, it worked out great. What a huge blessing that my kids were total whiny brats today. Now I can relax and enjoy the rest of my day now that Mark is awake and I don't have to stress about them being quiet. Plus, some stuff is gonna get fixed around here. Woo hoo!!

That is my mothers day miracle story. *sigh*

OK OK

I have been neglecting my blog, I know. I just feel so bad sitting here typing becuase my office is SUCH A DISASTER! I'm seriously taking pictures before I clean it, it will be the biggest transformation EVER! LOL So right now my kids are all gone at playgroup (thanks, Maddy :D) and instead of being procductive I am spending time with Mark (we went winow shopping at Lowe's) and out to lunch. That is our weekly "date" time together since he works all weekend evenings. So now he's ont he phone and I'm here, but hey, I'm relaxed. I guess you could call spending time with my spouse productive.

I really crashed this weekend, I literally laid in bed or on the couch in my room from about 1-6 pm. I needed a recharge BADLY. I'm ready to tackle some projects now. Some of this stuff I'd like to get done before school gets out, thats my deadline. I have some major stuff in the works. Heres a short list:

*My OFFICE completely gutted and redone
*my garage completely gutted, hosed out and redone
*my backyard completely redone (this includes my garden)
*all closets completely gutted and rearranged
*laundry room comletely gutted and redone

Heres one little dilemma- do I get rid of the VHS tapes?? I'm SO tempted. Its not like we have a lot but mabye 2-3 rubbermaids full. I could use the containers and the space. We do have a TV/VCR combo in Sadies room, which she likes but never usues it because she dosen't really like the VHS movies we have. What should I do? Let her keep her 5 favorites?

OK on the fitness front: I didn't make it to the gym fri or Sat, that is bad. But there was literally NO time, thats no joke. I could have gotten up at 5 to do it, but I was already sleep deprived from the week, and to get less could have been dangerous. I'm just looking forward to this coming week,and have done my workout today, and eaten great. I'm already seen improvements in how I feel and look (slightly) so I'm gonna keep on keepin on. I did have to get a couple things to wear, nothing exciting, but stretchy cute stuff that will last me now till 10 pounds down from now.


I'm having a few worries about my overall program etc., but I'll have save my deep thoughts for later. Later, peeps!

Avoiding the inevitable

I HAVE to take new pics today. AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH! Waaaaaaaaaa I don't wanna!! Cant I just know I'm fat and not have to prove it?? I've been to the pool like 3 times and it was so traumatizing. Horrifying. So tomorrow is the day. Today is the pictures. One of the drawbacks of being BFL experienced is that I know what I am in for as far as tiredness, soreness, crabbiness, etc. and I think it takes the edge off of my excitement about transforming my body. Because I know what it is going to take to transform my body. One thing I have working for me this go-round is that Mark works nights, and that means if I want to go to bed at 9 pm (or earlier if I get the kids down)There is no stopping me. And I will be spared the ridicule and accusations that I'm "geriatric" because I'm exhausted at 7 pm. Which is odd becuase when I eat crap I am exhausted allll daaaay. Then I read through old posts and logs of times when I was really on it and on a roll and remember so vividly how great I felt and how much control I had over my life. It was great. I am looking forward to getting to that stage again.

One approach that I am taking this time around is that I am doing this for ME. I am going to take more time for myself and sit in the jacuzzi when I'm sore, lay by the pool all alone (while the kids are in the childcare!!) and decompress, or take a yoga class and meditate. Another cool thing is I also have a new chiro who is very pro-massage and my insurance pays for chiro office massages. There is a limit but the guy is a friend who is going to hook me up. Heck, even 1 would be great right now. I think I get one paid for every 6 weeks or something, not too shabby. And although I do work at home, I do things that can be worked around usually.

Well I've done a lot of talking about it, and dreading it, and eating over it, and now it is time to make a grocery list and take pictures. Plan of attack for tomorrow....Drop kids off at school and get to gym by 8, hit grocery store on the way home. I only really have 1 option for breakfast tomorrow, I have 1 FF yogurt left, and some cottage cheese. Or a protein shake. I guess thats 2 options huh?? Woo hoo.