Oh yeah, baby!!!!

Well, so far so good. I posted a lot of this on my challenge thread, so if you've heard it all before....too bad!!! LOL I stayed up all night last night and got my house put together, what a relief!!! WIth out doing that, I would NOT have been able to hit the ground running like I needed to this morning. Cade has chorus at 7 AM so mondays really suck, and my first appt was coming at 8:30 am. EEEEK!

This is gonna be Challenge Numero UNO.

I am SO excited about my food right now!! I don't know what the hell I was thinking, trying to eat clean and eat the crappy stuff I had planned. I must admit I was quite inspired by Sqwigg and her going on about her buffalo, her delicious fruits and fabulous salads. So since Im too broke to go out and buy precision Nutrition, I had to just get back to the yummy stuff the best I could. I guess I could call it just realy going back to the BFL basics, like I did in my first challenge. I pulled out some old weekly menus and remembered some of the great stuff I used to eat that I miss. I feel like I'm catching up with a long lost friend! LOL Tonight I had Turkey Goulash...WOW was it yummy!!! My kitchen is totally stocked, and heres the really cool thing. I FINALLY did this after months of saying I "need" to. I got out my menu, I got out all the produce I had bought for all the meals, and I cut up and washed all the veggies accordingly. I made a ginormous salad, with greeen leaf lettuce, roma tomatoes, broccoli and cucumbers. Now when I need to have a salad, I can just grab a handful of it, done, Washing and chopping is done. I know, should I win a prize for finally figuring it out!!! LMAO I even went as far as chopping up the celery I will need for my tropical tuna sandwich on wednsday.! I have plenty of zuccini, peppers and mushrooms chopped up to mix with my eggs, and if I need to use it up quick for whatever reason I can just throw it in the salad. I grilled a big pack of chicken witht he Mrs. Dash Tomato and basil seasoning...YUMMO!! I have eaten so good today it should be illegal, but its NOT!! Here was today:

1:1/3 c. oats, 4 egg whites,&cinnamon, made into pancake w/PB and SF syrup
Hair appt. (making the $$$ baby!!)
Workout, LBWO Short, yet VERY intense
2:Protein shake (SN Carribean cooler mixedw/Betagen)
Hair appt. (cha ching)
3:Chicken pita pizza (1 ww pita topped with 1 T pizza sauce, grilled chicken, mushooms, roma tomato, zuchinni, and 2 T mozzarella and then broiled)
4:creamy salsa dip (CC, yogurt, salsa, jalepeno) with peppers, carrots, celery, and baked ww tortilla for dipping
5:Turkey Goulash...DELISH
6:more turkey G sans the pasta


I feel like I've eaten all day!!! I also drank a 2 quart pitcher of Ruby Red Grapefruit Crystal light plus about 40 oz of H2o. The peeing will start tomorrow. Right now I'm still absorbing. :P I don't feel thinner or anything, thats for sure, but I'm taking a step in the right direction.

Tomorrow I still have a little cooking to do. I'm gonna hard boil a dozen eggs (Mark needs em too) and also tomorrow morning when I make my pancake I will make 4 extras to have all week on hand just in case. I have never made these particular ones ahead of time before, I have no idea if they will be good.

I got a new notebook together, and was looking through my overflowing old one, which I love. I have all sorts of stuff in there, cool articles about goal setting, the paper towel theory, different threads from Tracker with music ideas, etc. I love it. But I think a new one will really give me the fresh start I need.

I'm exhausted, I have tons more to write about, all this stuff Dana and I were discussing about mindset, good stuff. But I am on 3 hours sleep,and unlike some of you out there I actually CAN sleep when I want to...and right now I really want to!!!

Tomorrow:
Sleep till 7
go to library and get hypnosis book recommended by Jennifer
HIIT cardio
Make phone calls :(
Take before pics :((((
Lots of other stupid crap too lame to post.
Wyatt has school, mabye mommy nees a nap???????

Hey Hey Hey

Thank you all so very much for your comments. I REALLY appreciate them!!!!I think the Lord must have decided that I'd had enough (for now) so I got a break yesterday. Seriously. I made 100 bucks doing hair in the morning, spent some quality one on one time with my little Deeter baby (thats Dayton BTW) while all the others were at school, I took a little 15 minute nap, I talked to Dana, and then the kids somehow buckled down and got their homework done before 4:30. It was so magical!!!! Even Marks workload was a little lighter last night, just one report and no rewrites. Dinner was on the BBQ, so minimal mess and I got to watch the "Office" on TV, my very favorite show that I miss during the summer. It was so great!!!!

A couple things have come to my attention, BFL wise, I REALLY need to figure out a way to do this challenge. I may have to restart, but thats OK. I need a transformation BADLY. Ive about hit rock bottom again. I have some eating issues that must be addressed and overcome, 12 weeks of a challenge could help me do it, I really believe. I am getting pretty sick of junk food and feeling like junk. I DO want this so badly!!!! I want a better me!!!! I want to start 2007 in a new body and mindset. I turn 32 in September, I can make a big improvement between now and then. If I want it bad enough, I will do it. All these little pieces are coming together, I feel something brewing again. The key for me is to run with it and stay focused. I have started and stalled so many times, I m kinda nervous now, I'm scared to fail again. Heres what I have in my favor:

Knowledge of what to do and HOW to do it (alsmost too much I think sometimes)
An AMAZING support system(nobody has more support than I do, I swear)
Health and a body that is in fine working order
Desire- I WANT TO SUCCEED
Food/supplement availability-I livein an area where if I want it, I could get it
(as opposed to a foreign country or something)


Honestly, how can I wrong with all of his on my side?????? The only thing holding me back is my lack of focus, and laziness (and sometimes finances) People have WAY more to deal with than that, I'm gonna reach down deep and find the resolve again.

Need input/encouragement

I need you, my blends!!!!!! Things are getting a bit overwhelming!! I don't want a pity party but I do hope to lay some stuff out and get some encouragement. I feel like I'm in the 10th mile of a marathon or something. I have come sooooo far, but there is still much much further to go, and the tempation to give up or at least just coast thru is really strong right now. I am mentally strong, but I am wondering how much I should be pushing myself with this fitness thing right at this juncture with everything else going on in my life. It is EXTREMELY difficult to stay focused on my nutrition right now. But then, I second guess that as well, I mean, whats the big deal, I'm gonna be eating anyway, I may as well eat healthy balanced meals, and in the long run I will feel better overall if I make the right choices, so why not do it right? Where do I draw the line between just getting through this next month or two, or continuing to expect the absolute best I can do in every aspect of my life?? I just feel like I have too many plates in the air, I am not able to drop any of them, they are all critical. But then again, the frustration I feel because of my lack of progress is depressing and makes me kind of panicky. That panicky feeling just adds to my troubled mind. The working out is great, its just my eating. I wish I could organize these thoughts better, I know I'm rambling. This is what I can get out in coherent sentences, can you imagine how it sounds in my brain???LOL

I'm gonna lay out what I have going, to get some perspective.

1) Marks police academy
This is a LOT of work for me. Its a LOT of work for him. Nothing can be skimped on here, this is truly critical that his boots be shined, reports be written/rewritten, clothes cleaned and ironed daily, and reading be done. He has to be up by 4:15 am, so any help he can get to get to bed at a decent hour is much appreciated. I mainly read off the rewrites to him (cuts the time in half) and wash and iron the clothes.

2) Kids homework
HOLY CRAP this sucks. Yesterday I was entertaining Marks dad from out of town(Mark was frantically writing reports) and the kids would NOT get the homework done, of which they had double PLUS extra classwork they missed monday (I let them stay home to play with out of town cousins) Cade literally sat at the kitchen table, no TV, nothing, and got nothing done. NOTHING. So today we have triple. We are talking HOURS here people. Tonight I am sittng there with them all 4, and we will get it done, I'm probably looking at 5 hours of it tonight. Lord help us.

3) Hair clients
Academy base pay is not gonna cut it. I have to do more hair clients. Fine, but one more thing to take up my time, and I have a lot of new people, so that is a little stressfull. I HAVE to do it, no question. I MUST take everyone that calls.

4) Church
Our family (read:ME) is in charge of something we call "sharing time" this coming sunday, which is basically 20 minutes of entertaining instruction for about 60 kids ages 3-11. YIKES!!!!! I committed 2 months ago, I've had plenty of time, no backing out now. Maddi would kill me.

5) Parents
My parents are putting pressure on me, mom wants me to pay back student loans that I can't afford to right now, she understands but the guilt....the GUILT!!!!! I had to make a distressing phone call yeasterday, but 45 minutes on hold (thats no joke) is just too much for one woman to take sometimes.

6) I have been a terrible friend, so many people I need to be following up with that I'm not, I hope people understand that I am just really truly busy right now. Dana, I've wanted to call you for 5 days now, Sarah, Deita, Mary, the list goes on. Luckily Casey and Dana call me or else I'd have no friends.


NOW HERE IS THE GOOD::::::

I've made it to the gym 3 days this week. I spent a great weekend with Marks family. Today I am gonna chill while the kids are at school and have lunch with my SIL who I love. My bad hours will just be 3 till 8:30. I am dedicating those hours to the kids and getting their work done. After that I am heading over to my friend Casey's to watch the So You Think You Can Dance finale (which I am going to the concert on my B-day!!!!!!! WOOOO HOOOOOOO!!) So for those hours I will be in homework hell but I am trying to just breathe, breathe, I can't change any of this, I must just breathe. Any words of wisdom or encouragement would be greatly appreciated!!!!


Closing thought: I'm doing all this for these guys, I just want to do the best by and for them. They all deserve it!!!!!



Video Hosting - Upload Video - Video Sharing

My Sadie Girl

She is just too precious!!! I made this a couple weeks ago, I love it!! I can't wait to send it to the grandparents for Christmas!!