Domestic insanity

I got a little carried away yesterday. I decided I was tired of telling myself all the things I needed to do and I just went ahead and did everything at once. It may be because I'm on sugar overload. I feel like Im on the "Elf" Diet(candy, candycanes,cany corn, and syrup)LOL actually its more like Apple Jacks, candy corn, chocolate, and diet Coke. Son of a NUTCRACKER!! LOL Not tons of any of it, but bad nonetheless. I had to take pics since I needed to remember what this looked like- it won't last too long. Plus I had to show off my handiwork :) I planted a garden, repotted plants in my hanging baskets, Mowed the front and back yard, Washed the windows and screens inside and out with a soap mixture and squeegee(I tried this for the first time- it worked awesome!),hosed off the front and back porches. Changed my bedding to something more fall-ish,(even the bedskirt!) and cleaned and vacuumed the whole house including bathrooms. WOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!! This is all a pre-cursor to Cade's birthday party next Friday- gotta get a jump start on things looking good (the cousins wives will be stoppin in) so thats what was making me think of the things I wanted done by then. Now today I can get laundry finished,decorate for Halloween and relax!! Mark is gonna be so pleased about the yard! He owes me big time!!! BTW if you can see that hill in my front yard- yeah I'm hitting my 10's pushing a mower up that stupid thing 10 times. plus I'm sore today from all the garden-shoveling.

The weather is gorgeous and I am going to day to get a new pair of runing shoes so I can really start training for my 10K. I have 6 weeks, I gotta do it. I didn't want to spend the $$ on shoes, but ya know what?? The same thing happened last year and if 60 bucks is what it takes for me to reach this dream/goal, tough toenails, I'm doing it!! I really want to do this, end of story. Now I gotta get my butt in gear and JUST DO IT!!!

Silly randomness

This may end up being really stupid but I had some random thoughts today and they might make more sense if I get them out so here goes.

It is possible that I am not progressing with BFL right now because I am somewhat content with how I am right now??? It is likely that at some point in the near future I will no longer be content and feel the need to get into smaller pants,but for now I MIGHT be happy. I really don't know. Mabye I need a little trip to the Gap dressing room to grasp some idea of how I am really looking. I percieve that my perception is a little warped right at this time. I am still happy I lost what I did, I need time to become unhappy with how I look. I still have that new-figure smell. hehehe

(inspired by supergirls post) I have always found something so interesting about kissing. I've been kissing the same man for 11.5 years straight now, and it is so wierd that soemtimes its like, hmm, yeah, fine but then other times its off the charts. WHY is that?? Does it just have to do with timing? Timing of what?? What is the common denominator of either experience?? I can't find the factor! its just hit and miss. Times when I want some fireworks, its hum ho then once in a while its an experience like Bevs that flips your world upside down, but only when you least expect it. Mabye that must be it. You just can't want it. Life is wierd sometimes.

Its just me and my boys till Sat nite. I dropped Sadie of at MIL's tonite to go on their little trip, and Marks with his scouts on a campout. I don't know if its a change in dynamic or what but they are feeling so good. They want to have a "late night" and watch a movie at home with popcorn. They are just all cheery and excited to have mommy to themselves, just the boys. I may see how tomorrow goes and set up the tent and watch a movie in the backyard. The only problem with that is how to convince them to ever take the tent down. Theyd want to move in permanently. I should do it though- The weather is perfect for sleeping out and we have really nice grass back there. OK I will do it. Hehe it will be fun.

This is my brain fruit for today. Its a little withered but it was good to harvest (for me, anyway) Alright I must really be tired.

Rollercoaster is an understatement

I am exhausted but I wanted to post and get that annoying downer post off the top of my page. Moving ON.....I havn't been on an emotional rollercoaster like this -EVER that I can remember. Literally minute by minute I change fromt he fittest woman I know to the most pathetic. Heres just one of MANY examples: I'm feeling like crap as I stuff a piece of salami in my mouth...before I finish chewing it I am giddy that my skinny jeans have a little more wiggle room than I remember. Is that insane?? Heres another:I'm pushing a double stroller loaded with kids and lots of other kid-stuff up a VERY steep hill at the zoo, I'm feelign strong, calf muscles bulging, thinking- wow I am in pretty good shape here, do a quick arm check, yup, looking good; at the botton of said hill I run into Marks cousins wives, casually cute, mostly fit, kids are gorgeous like mine, intant waves of intimidation, I am magically transformed into the frumpiest, rumpliest, most generic roob at the zoo. I'm sure they all drove their new SUV's here. OK I will get off this- no more negative stuff, right??


Today was exhausting : 6 hours at the zoo, it was gorgeous weather but between my friend Casey and I there were 10 kids. Her youngest is a newborn. Yowzas!! I think we stayed a little too long! After that, ran across town to pick up a frame pack for Mark to go camping with.. got him out the door to his campout (single mommin' it till saturday eve) Then took Cade to practice, went across town AGAIN to the only open bank (after 5) for a very important deposit, back across town AGAIN to the mall(!) with the other 4 to get Sadie some warm clothes(MIL is taking her to Utah this weekend)and then to Target for stuff to "Boo!" 2 families from church (we got Boo'd last night- basically its an anonymous Halloween treat that you pay forward to 2 other families) and then picked up Cade, got Mc D's, Wendy's, Bood the people, then came home and crashed about 9:30 pm. Keep in mind, we had 3 pit stops, a gas stop, 2 drink stops(causing the pit stops) and rush hour traffic. So these nights only happen every once in a while(thank heavens) and I actually had it planned out MUCH more smoothly than this but the bank thing really threw a wrench in the whole night. The kids had a great time, Cade had a great practice, Sadie got new clothes(HEAVEN) the little guys were kept under thumb with promises and threats of fast food (a real treat for them)So it turned out OK. I'm not even going to watch any of the TV I DVR'ed and I guess the dishes aren't going anywhere. I'm officially crashing!!

Sorry I had to spill my day here- Mark's out of town now so I gotta unload on SOMEONE!!! Lucky you! I'm the wicked witch of the west... I'm m e l t i n g ahhhhhhh........*puddle of goo*

I starved all day...

Today I didn't eat. We didn't really have anything in the house, so what we did have I had the kids eat. By the end of the day I was thinking, hmm, this feels good, mabye I will just stop altogether. It felt good to just take a break from thinking about it. Is that bad? I just embraced that gnawing feeling. I hope I'm not treading into dangerous teritory. I can't fool myself, that method will never work for me. Its tempting to try it thouugh. It was nice tonight while I was lifting up my shirt looking at my midsection and abs(again ;)lol) it was nice to see s little tightness. I've been off my diet so long that I havn't felt that in a while. I want to the grocery store tonight and got all my food, but I had to force myself to eat a ff yogurt and a scant 1/2 C. of Cottage cheese. I was glad I did, though. I put the cottage cheese in Sadies Disney princess bowl, I think that helped :D Sometimes all it takes is just one perfectly authorized meal to make you feel like you can do it. Its really late, its almose midnight but I finished off the day right, and that feels good. I think I may be able to hit the gym tomorrow. I'm not too far gone, I'm just going to keep going.