The Good, and its Consequences

I don't want anyone to freak out on me. I want to give you all a pill update. ITS WORKING!!!!!! I still have my cheats here and there, its not perfect. I still have to be focused and plan, and my meals are pretty small and boring. To be honest, I am only getting 4-5 meals in. My calories are really low. But I do spread them out over the day, and I am so freaking thirsty on this stuff I can put down a gallon of water by 1 in the afternoon. I make sure to eat a higher calorie meal every couple days (like salmon or steak with a potato) to keep me from going into starvation mode. That seems to be working. My workouts are great. I've been spending an hour and a half in the gym 4 days a week with a 5th and 6th day of cardio only. Same as what I've posted. I'm doing it. It dosn't keep me up at night, but I need less sleep. I had to drive home fom my parents yesterday evening and I was crashing because I had such a busy weekend (we drove to the snow with the kids..'nuff said) so I took a gamble and took one at 6 pm. I had a 3 hours drive at night then a shopping trip when I got home and a looong reunion night with Mark planned) I got to bed about 1:30 am, and was up and chipper at 8 am. I feel really good this morning. I'm totally loving this stuff. I'm feling great, not high, not hungry, its so FAB!!

Heres the other thing. I am dropping the WEIGHT. I was down to 130 on saturday am.(on my moms scale, which is a pound or 2 lighter than mine, I think)But still, 130!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I had to count the little dashes by hand to make sure it was right. I started at zero and counted every little dash by 5's. I have to say, though, I FEEL 130. SO this is the pattern of how it has played out so far. The first week on the meds I lost 5 pounds. the next week I lost a half inch off of crucial body parts. Now this week again with a 6 pound scale loss. Bodyfat is now down to 22.9 as of this morning. I think my metabolism is on fire!! I didn't measure at my parents, I forgot my tape measure. I'll just do it next week at the end of the challenge, which is in a WEEK!!!!!

There are a couple of downsides to this. Since I'm losing so fast *ducks a punch from Tracey* I'm getting a little skin saggage going on. Mainly in my boobs (about down to a pitiful A cup:( and my lower stomach. really kind of a general feeling of loose skin all over. Where I used to grab hold of fat around my waist, now there is like less fat and more skin or something. I know it will eventually tighten up. Mark hadn't seen me all week and was like "where did your ass go??? Your getting so little!!!" you can imagine the rewards that came his way for those kind of comments! LOL Right now I feel to myself like a skeleton with a little flab and a big butt. LOL My upper body is looking a little scrawny to me, and my boobs are kind of just hanging there, lifelessly. LOL The main idea now I guess is to get the fat off, and then build back up the muscle where I want it later. Bottom line, I'm knocking on size 6's door. I hope she answers soon :) As soon as she lets me in, I'm gonna push her down to the ground and bust in on size 4.

side note: Cade on the way home last night says to me: "Mom, why does you face go in so much right there? (referring to under my cheekbone) Is is because you lost weight or because your getting old??" I did n't know whether to hug him or punch him LOL I just said, "ummm, I think its both."

Apprehension Day

I have officially dubbed Thursdays as "Apprehension Day". My weigh ins and measurements are done on Saturday, first thing, before my freeday commences. Thursday I am usually too curious to stay away from the scale, so I get on. And i"m usually same as I was the week before, or a pound higher. So this is what goes thru my head:

"Oh no!! Well, dummy its not saturday yet, things can change dramatically! and hello, you had a steak and sweet potato last night that is still in your system. I know but I'm burning like 3000 cals a day, and eating barely enough, by now I should see a drop. No, stupid, you have to give it a full week. You shouldn't even be on this scale right now. Are you addicted??? No, but I better step it up today and tomorrow. I'm nervous, I may not lose this week. My pants aren't that much looser really this week like last time.OK, thats it!!! No scale for you!!!!!!!"

This is a glimpse into my brain, I know, sorry, I won't share anymore. But I KNOW you all do it!!! LOL I have done this every single WEEK!! WHY must I torture myself so??

I got Cades arm cast, apparently the lady I talked to at the reffered doctor the first time was incorrect and it was fine to go there. SHEESH! A whole day of stomache ache for that!! I go thte insureance thing as figured out as I can till teh 20th. Anyway,he got it on this morning and its so cool! Its CAMO print. He loves it. Well, as much as you can love a cast, I guess.

So I am going to go see the fam this weekend, My parents are into the BFL thingy so eating will not be a problem, unless I make it one. They are stocked with the good stuff. AND my mom goes to this trainer who has trained fitness competitors, and I would be very interested in talking to this person that I have heard so much about. SO far what he has told her is in line with what I have learned, so thats good. So I won't miss any working out either. I'm gonna get my house all sparkly and head out in the morning. After I mow the grass and all that too. I only have about 5 loads of laundry left :( Gotta get to work. Damn, Mark is lucky I do all his chores for him!!! LOL Its a lot of work but sooo nice to come home to!

P.S. The little pill I take has an amphetamine in it...so its even BETTER than caffeine!! MUAAAHAAAHAHAHAA!!

Its HUMP DAY!!!

Too bad Marks out of town!! ROFL KIDDING!!! So far so good this week, I've been kicking ass in the gym, and diets been really clean, but I am strugglng to make myself eat enough. I think I've only hit 5 meals the last couple days, not enough!! Today I will really really make myself eat everything on the schedule. And I am gonna eat a good dinner. I've been on turbo-drive the last couple days ( my usual cleaning frenzy that strikes every couple weeks) and yesterday I managed to wash my car inside and out, clean out the garage, clean up the backyard, and my entire house including bathrooms, besides going to the gym for an hour and a half and spending an hour down at the *hangs head* DES office to get our "insurance" sorted out to pay for Cades arm. I'm REALLY stressed about all of that whole mess. He can't get it cast until we get it figured out, and that needs to be today or tomorrow. I'm hoping I don't end up coming unglued with some sort of rage with an uncooperative government worker. Its brewing, because these people are pissing me off to no end. But I guess you get what you pay for, right? Serenity now...serenity now....It never fails, Mark has to leave town just at the times when really stressful things are gong on. So I deal by myself. I was stupid for thinking it would be different this time. Neither of us have a choice. It sucks bad. I hate dealing with this stuff alone.Oh well I get lots of work done when he's gone anyway. Blah blah poor me, right? If I can get his arm taken care of, I'm gonna escape to Thatcher to visit my parents and hang out with my siblings.

BTW BF% yesterday was 23.5%. An all time low!! YAY!!!

Week 11 game plan

Its week 11 peeps. Time to get serious. The harsh reality of last week is that I missed friday and saturdays workouts, but not because I wanted to. I basically took friday,saturday and sunday off of eating too. Didn't eat enough and what I did was junk. I realized this morning that the reason I started BFL on April 4 last year was because it was AFTER birthday season. I just really love cake. I just wanted to enjoy it last year, and figured I'd give myself some slack and not even bother starting till it was over. Well, guess what, here it is again. I have to figure what I am gonna do to get thru it. For now I am planning to just power thru next weekend and not even take a freeday. If I never even take a bite I cant' over-indulge, right?? If I do have a small piece,its a good chance I'll have 3 more. 2 weeks of no cheats??? I think I can do it. Thats for this coming weekend, Daytons b-day. Then Coopers on April 2, well its far enough away I can deal with it later. So for this next 2 weeks, hardcore diet, then EFL saturday and sunday, then hardcore diet next week, then its the end. But its not really the end, which brings me to............

I have mapped out the "challenge" plan from now till the cruise. Its actually working out pretty well, I don't want to take a week off, because if its anything like last time, I'll be completely off and who knows if I'll be able to get he mental game back. And we all know if we don't have the mental game intact, its out the window. SOOOOOO the good news for me is that my challenge will be ending march 25. BUT April 4 is my 1 year anniversary of BFL. I want to have some killer pics for that. Taking the week between there off would not help me do that. So I really will have a 13 and a half week challenge. April 4 is on a Tuesday, so I may do EFL for the rest of that week. Then I have almost exactly 10 weeks till the cruise. I will then re-evaluate what I need to fix, add muscle to, cut down more(like I don't know THAT one) and plan accordingly. I really want to show up to that cruise ship and have people wonder if I won something at some point. I want to blend in with the CHAMPS!!! The whole idea of all of this is very exciting!! I am really not winding this down. I don't feel burned out as of yet. I actually feel energized over the whole thing.(2 days of cake will do that to me, I guess)lol This is the big picture which is great, but now I gotta break it down and focus..........

THIS WEEK:
M-LBWO/45 min cardio (incline tready)
T-UBWO/45 min cardio (elliptical)
W-45 min cardio(incline tready)
TH-LBWO/45 min cardio(elliptical)
F-UBWO/45 min cardio(incline tready
S-5 mile run

I have to make up for last week, and I am taking up a little notch. Eating, will be Teresas diet, to a T, with a bigger EFL meal on wednsday afternoon, to make sure my metabolsim is in full swing. It will be a medium sized lean steak and a baked potato, with a huge salad.

TODAY: Workout in about an hour and a half, meal one is in the bag, water has started, and after my workout I'm headed to Sams club to get the food I need. I'm very focused. No room for screw ups, this is it.