New years stuff

We had a great surprise the other day, My BIL/SIL and their 4 kids came from Utah for the whole weekend and surprised my MIL. It was so great~! They have kids my kids ages and they are close buddies so it is cousin-mania at our house for the weekend. And they have a 16 month old I have hardly seen who is the cutest little butterball, and a total sports nut(at 16 mos!!!) My litle bit of sadness (and this is just my own stupididty) is that I am soooo jealous of my Sil, she shows up with her VERY cute size 5 body, and I just hate myself because I could be that small right now but I am NOT bacause I have been stuffing my face and not exercising. In fact I am bigger than I have been since july, and it physically hurts my brain to thnk about that. Why have I done this to myself?? I read skwiggs artice on self sabotage, I think my issue is denial and laziness. Its not that I don't deserve it, or I don't want attention (LOL) its just pure lack of planning, and rationalizing that I am "a lot smaller and more fit than a lot of women my age/moms/lots o kids/"etc. Yes, I am not hideous (in clothes, to other people) but I am not happy with how I feel like I look. Or how I feel. Add to this, the TOM, so add ten pounds to my mental visual of myself, and I am so dissapointed in me. I literally changed outfits 3 times yesterday, trying to feel like I lookd thinner. How stupid is that? Why do we do that? I'm not just saying this, but if I had know those guys were coming all this time, like that last 6 weeks,I would have tried a LOT harder and not let myself gain this much weight. Its so shallow, but I really try to put my best foot forward when I see my BIL/SIL. Its not really a competition, we are truly good friends (yesterday she told the nail lady she'd take me as a sis over her her real sis, LOL) We are close and have struggled with our weight together over the years(trading the "big jeans" back and forth after pregnancies, etc) and she told me last night she wants to do the BFL program with me this go round. I hope she really does it. My BIL is very vain and expects a lot out of her (unreasonably, sometimes).

So, in a nutshell: Jenn, skinny--me, jealous. Its OK, when I see them again this summer I will be way hotter and in better shape than I have ever been in. It just adds fuel to my fire for the challenge. I will be using this feeling to get me thru these HIITs I have coming upon me next week. (arrrgh)

So today I am doing hair(and getting mine done-YAY!)

Tonight its a BIG party in Casa Grande till after midnight with all night homemade pizza

Tomorrow is doing more hair and homemade belgian waffles

Tomorrow night, pictures, stats, goals, and some tears(over the pics, of course)

Monday- the first day of a new ME!!

Have a happy new year, blends, I love you guys and heres to the BUTTER challenge!!

Looking ahead

Let me start with saying that my favorite present this Christmas was my piano! It was my parents, they don't have room for it and it had been sitting at a friends house for 2 years waiting for us to come get it. Mark HATES moving sutff like that, so for a surprise Christmas morning it was sitting in the living room. YAY!! I love it and I am loving re-learning all my old sonatinas and show tunes (its been 10 years since I played, after 12 years of lessons, I used to be pretty darn great at it)Its amazing how after so much time it comes back so fast. I need lots of practice though! Can't wait to start some new songs, too! I'm also teaching my kids to sing parts, which they are liking so far. No more guilt over that wasted ability anymore!

I have been continuing to stuff my face, and its getting so sickening, BUT I am looking ahead to what next week will bring(and the next 12 weeks) and I am geting so excited!! I havn't done my actual official goals yet, but here are some beginnings (and this is for the family too, not just my fitness)

Clean out my house(of course :P)
The whole family is going OFF soda
Praying together every morning before school
Get my butt to the gym by 6 am (come on, its not really that early!!)
post at least one uplifting post on tracker every day


Anyway that is a start. I just love this "off" week between Christmas and new years, it gives us a chance to relax and contemplate what we want to accomplish in the coming year. Ive just been hangng out with the kids and Mark, we went and saw Narnia yesterday(loved those books as s kid, movie was awesome!) and tomorrow I am going to use my zoo pass to take the kids to the zoo(the weather here is unbelievable right now!)


As far as new years plans, We always go to Marks Aunt and Uncle's, everyone comes from out of town (cali and NM) and new years eve we make homemade pizza all night and play games and hang out till midnight, then the next morning we go back for AWESOME gourmet belgian waffles with all the toppings. I'm a little weary of doing the same thing every flippin year(going on 12 years now) but it is pretty fun. The kids play with their cousins and Mark plays Dominoes (yawn)with the guys, I usually just watch kids and eat and chat. And I end up doing hair too for some people, which is actually fun, too. Mark has a very nice family.

Actually, I feel more like.......

Fat

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Oh Yeah!!

My Humps

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